Mega-Mart

The first few weeks

2011-07-13T12:59:00.005-05:00

So we've been here two weeks already and we are settling in just fine. During the first week or so a lot of time was eaten up with setting up immediate needs like finding a new pediatrician, a pediatric dentist, and midwives, shopping for millions of necessities, and getting our bearings in our new city. But we have found time to have fun too. Here are some quick notes about our start in NYC:

One of the first challenges we faced in the new apartment was that we didn't have blinds to block out the sun when it was Penny's 7 p.m. bedtime. Last week, as soon as the movers dropped off our stuff, we tacked a quilt over her window as a temporary fix until our blinds arrive. (They are taking forever!) But for the seven days we lived here without our furniture, we had to figure out what to do with a loopy-tired toddler who just wouldn't, couldn't sleep until the sun went down after 8 p.m. Thus began a nightly tradition of reading Owly, a graphic novel series for kids. Penny loves Owly so much she will not be put in her crib without the book and falls asleep clutching it like a teddy bear.

There is an amazing playground kitty corner from our building. I can't believe how lucky we are to live so close to it. Most weekdays Penny and I head there straight after breakfast and stay until lunch. As soon as Penny can see it from her stroller she kicks her feet and shouts "Hooray!" The advantages of getting out early are threefold: it gets taken over by older kids in the afternoon, a heatwave hit NYC this summer and I have no tolerance for hot noonday sun plus the slide gets too hot to ride, and Penny gets worn out and takes at least an hour-long afternoon nap. Bonus for me!

Her usual pace at the playground:

Going down her favorite playground equipment, the "yide!"

It has a fountain area, which some days Penny loves and other days she says it's too scary. Toddlers. Can't make up their minds!

Coloring in Dad's chalk rendition of Owly:

We've also taken a few field trips, the most notable being to Central Park Zoo, and I have many more planned for this summer. It's just two miles from our building so we can walk. Other highlights: Marty loves his new job and the new challenges it brings to him. He gets to walk, logging four miles there and back.

I'm glad the move is over. It was hectic and exhausting. It feels good to get back on track to our new routines. We're really going to have a great summer. Sometimes I still get sad thinking about all we left in Chicago. I know Penny misses our people, too. She hears people walking in the hall and jumps up and yells "COMING! JOSIE! Hooraaay!" or gasps and says "Allison! Hershecoooooomes!" More than once I've gotten a lump in my throat while explaining it's just our neighbors. Thank goodness for Skype!

Anyway, there's more to say as always, but Pen's up from her nap already so enough blogging for now.

Today's Special: a Video for the Grandparents

2010-07-30T08:32:00.000-05:00

For those occasional Mega-Mart shoppers not hooked in to our social networks, here is a video of our live over the past 4 years. The theme is freedom.

Just before bed

2010-06-25T22:11:00.000-05:00

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-18T14:14:00.005-05:00

Grocery Bag Giggles

2010-06-07T21:25:00.002-05:00

Penny has developed such a fun laugh this month, but I couldn't get it on camera because she's too distracted. Finally, I got smart and hid behind the couch for this footage.

Not for sale

2010-05-06T08:28:00.007-05:00

Gah! Look at that smile! Beautiful. Melts me every time.

We're trying the sidecar co-sleeping strategy and even cashed in our Babies R Us gift certificates for an overpriced Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper. You can see how well that's going in this picture:

Promised Pictures of Pretty Penny

2010-04-04T23:52:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone had a happy Easter. Mega-Mart spent our Sunday up at the ol'e Edwards homestead. Penny got to show her grandparents her cooing and gurgling skills and stunned everyone by grabbing at, and catching Raggedy Andy's hair. Penny, take heed. That was the only time we will cheer hair pulling!

There is a backlog of great pictures so enjoy some extra polished gems (Picasa albums to be updated soon).

Jimmy = Awesome

2010-03-25T01:18:00.002-05:00

I don't know how many of our patrons will actually get this, but it was too funny not to post.

My sister, Hillary, posted some pics on her blog and when I saw the bottom one I just started laughing. For those of you who do not traverse the dark crusty corners of the world wide webs, let me tell you about a place called 4chan (and I hesitate to do this but... here is the ~~link~~, click at your own risk). 4chan is where a lot of stuff on the internet came from. Rickrolling, lolcats, and the hilarious Pedobear all started there. There is also a smiley face called "Awesome!" that was a huge internet meme for a while, which leads me to:

Jimmy = Awesome!

If you want to read all about the Awesome face, check this link out.

I promise more baby pics by the end f the weekend.

New Photos Now In Stock!

2010-03-14T10:06:00.001-05:00

It's been tough keeping our customers satisfied. Penny is more than a handful (not that she's difficult... babies just need a lot of attention) and it's tough to get time to sit down and really write/draw/do anything that takes a while. But, I snuck in to the computer room so I could sync up photos and give you all some updates.

Penny has moved up a size in diapers and is too big for her newborn clothes. The hat she wore home from the hospital (pictured below) that was comically huge on her, now fits like a glove. I can't believe how fast she is growing. She'll be two months old on Thursday. What keeps blowing my mind is not that the time is going by so amazingly fast, but more the realization that none of the baby stuff she did/does will last long. Our little girl, while still tiny as hell, is growing up.

With the weather getting nicer Megan and I have been taking our little one for walks in her stroller. For her the process is: go outside, look overwhelmed, cry, stop crying and stare at trees and sky, fall asleep. It's great to get her out and about though. After being pinned to the couch for two months (big love to Megan on that one) seeing that we can do ANYTHING, no matter how small is great. We can't wait until Penny is out learning her 'hood with her mom and I everyday.

I promised pics, so lets get that show rolling!

Today's Special: Video Update!

2010-03-01T22:20:00.001-06:00

Blogging with a newborn is flipping hard! So much is happening and Penny changes every day. Megan and I are exhausted and take no solace in the fact that we will remain that way for the rest of our lives.

But parenting has its rewards... like times like this:

A Baby at a Funeral

2010-02-10T20:41:00.000-06:00

We spent last Saturday in Rockford for Megan's Grandma's funeral. I know I won't be able to do the event justice, but it would be a disservice to not mention it. I only met Megan's Grandma (from whom penny get's her middle name, Winter) twice, and only when she was way later on in years, but she was still someone who left an impression on me. I suppose it wasn't as much her impression as it was the impression she left on Megan transferring over to me. She was a sci-fi lover, a geek-gal before it was hip. She was a pack rat, I heard, but was always trying to give Megan things when we left. She was feisty and had a truly iron will. And I could tell that she was a big influence on the woman I am married to. May she rest in peace.

While in Rockford I got to meet Megan's extended family and they all got to meet Penny. She was a real hit, and a so well behaved (a.k.a. asleep)! Megan's family was also very nice to talk to, and I had many a good conversation or laugh with everyone I got to talk to.

On Tuesday Nate, Kate and Libby came over and brought dinner for us (thanks a TON!) and stayed to watch Lost... And, holy crap, Lost is so bad this season. I expected the end to be unsatisfying, because the known can never be as exciting as the un-, but I never guessed that it was just going to plain suck. I will write a whole post on exactly how bad it is soon. (side note: I may have offended Libby with a comment like, "they're sick or something" that sounded like I was mocking her, but know this: it was not intended to insult!)

And today Penny was a super smiley girl. Check out the pictures!

Limited Time Offer

2010-02-05T23:17:00.000-06:00

Blogging while working full time and helping with a newborn is hard. ...but I don't want our faithful patrons to be left feeling ignored, so here are some Penny pics to keep the customers happy.

The Bargain Bin: Grandpa, a Car and a Road Trip

2010-01-30T20:27:00.001-06:00

Megan-Mart now has an official vehicle, the 2010 Honda Fit Sport. Here it is in all it's shiny sexiness.

Megan and I never thought of ourselves as car people, but once Penny arrived we started to think about things like emergency trips to the hospital and that changed our perspective pretty quick. One of the added bonuses is that we get to visit relatives now, instead of always forcing them to come to us. It sounds like it's less convienient for us, but it's really just better all around.

For example we made a trip up to Rockford to visit Megan's family today, and tomorrow we're going to visit my sister Hillary (the clash of the babies begins!). The ride was nice and the company was good. Penny was a champ all the way there... but we did have a few bumps on the way back. About 20 minutes from home our little munchkin got cranky, real cranky. We ended up pulling off the tollway and jut parking in the lot of some restaurant to feed and change her, which wasn't in the plan but wasn't really too much of a price to pay.

Grandpa came and visited last Wednesday and that was fun. He got to see Penny and then help me get a decent loan. Remind me to write a blog about how much baby poop Equifax can go ahead and eat. Also, remind me to write about why GameStop is a jerk-store. THE RAGE! IT IS BUILDING!

And one last note before the pictures, our friend Janice sent us the outfit in the first picture and it was so cute on our little girl I had to share. Thanks again Janice!

On Special: Logan Friends

2010-01-24T20:51:00.000-06:00

The Logan Squarians came to visit baby Penny, and at six days old it's about time she met her honorary aunts and uncles! I think the pictures say enough... they can't take their eyes off her!

Exaggerate Until It's True

2010-01-23T19:29:00.001-06:00

There are six different levels of exaggeration.

No Exaggeration - The Joe-Friday-facts.
Slight Exaggeration - This is used mostly to lie about an event to make the exaggerator look better than they should.
Slight Over-Exaggeration - The teller is attempting a Slight Exaggeration, but is uncouth about it, and they botch the proportions. The result is an attempt to grow the reputation of the teller, but the obviosness of the lie induces the opposite reaction.
Over-Exaggeration - To inflate the aspects of a story or tale to proportions so large that the listener knows they are not to take them as fact. This can be used as a comedic or literary device, and is generally considered not a dickish thing to do. Many consider this term to be redundant, but those people don't know about this scale.
Extreme Over-Exaggeration - The overuse of #4, such that it makes the listener want to punch the teller for being a jackass.
Unwittingly True - The truth is stretched so far that the a paradox occurs and the statement is actually true again.

Previously I thought this scale only went to five, but having a baby provided proof of level six's existence. Here it is, proof by example. The statement "A girl kicked Marty's ass" is our control statement.

A girl kicked Marty's ass. (Depending on the girl this could be true.)
A college freshmen kicked Marty's ass.
This one college freshman kicked Marty's ass so many times that he developed a fear of women.
A five year old girl kicked Marty's ass.
A five year old girl just looked at Marty and made him diarrhea his pants in front of everyone in the world!
A five day old girl kicked Marty's ass.

Having a kid is hard, but worth it. And now, what you've all been waiting for... the pics!

Thanks to all 4 grandparents Aunt Allison and Colin and Kristin (honorary Aunt and Uncle) for visiting our newly expanded family.

Midnight Special: The Birth Story

2010-01-20T00:58:00.001-06:00

This could be a realllllllly long blog, but I'm going to try and keep it short and to the point. Also, to some this might seem like a negative story about birth, but be sure that the parents do not view it that way. There are parts of this story that were not fun, but if there is no struggle the victory is an empty one. The story might not interest everyone, so the cute pics come first.

FRIDAY
4 a.m. -- Megan starts laboring. Her contractions are ten minutes apart and seem to be getting closer.
7:30 a.m. -- I call off work so I can help Megan and drive her to the hospital if it comes to that.
3 p.m. -- Megan's contractions are still 10 minutes apart. After some internet research we think it might be prodromal labor (different kind of labor, same painful contractions). Megan takes a bath.
5 p.m. -- Megan's contractions persisted through the bath and are now 4-5 minutes apart.
11 p.m. -- Megan's contractions are 3-4 minutes apart. I'm sure that this is it, so I say we should call the midwife. Megan's contractions stop as soon as we go to call. We sleep for two hours.

SATURDAY
1 a.m. -- Megan starts having contractions again, but they are shorter ad 30 minutes apart... textbook real labor.
7 a.m. -- Megan's contractions have increased in ferocity and are 10 minutes apart again.
1 p.m. -- Contractions are 3-4 minutes apart. We are sure THIS is it. But I suggest we start timing and they drop back to every 10 minutes
7.p.m. -- Still contracting every ten minutes. Megan has tried showers, baths, walking, hip swivels and horse back riding. Nothing stops the contractions or makes them speed up. We are weary.
11:30 p.m. -- Megan tells me to go to bed, she is going to try and rest comfortably on the rocking chair. I begrudgingly (happily) agree. I sleep about 2 hours.

SUNDAY (note: the rest of this timeline is more dicey. We were pretty out of it.)
1:30 a.m. -- Megan wakes me up and says she called the midwife, it's time to go to the hospital. I grab everything I can think of and head to the car (thanks Colin) and we leave.
2 a.m. -- We arrive at the hospital. Megan obstinately refuses a wheelchair and we walk half a block to the triage room.
2:30 a.m. -- We start fetal heart monitoring.
3 a.m. -- Baby looks good, but Megan is only dilated to 3 cm. To get in to the birth center we had been working toward she had to be 4. The midwife suggests Megan take something to sleep, because at this rate she'll never have enough energy to push..
[I don't know where I am off on the above, but somehow we got home at 6 a.m.]
6 a.m. -- We get back home tired and disappointed. Megan takes the sleeping pill (6-8 hour effectiveness). We go to sleep. Megan zonks, waking periodically and having a contraction, then passing right back out. I sleep not at all because the pill makes Megan snore, and because she's hurting and tired she needs to cuddle.
9 a.m. -- Megan's water breaks, movie style. She is right in the middle of the pill's duration, and recognizes that it's happened, but then sits there looking a bit stunned. I call the midwife for advice and draw a bath for Meg. She gets in and sits looking a bit zombified. I make her food and keep her awake and comfortable. We wait.
11 a.m. -- The bath finishes. Megan's contractions have been getting stronger and we're sure this HAS to be it. While she gets ready for the day, she contracts and has another gush of fluid, but this time it's greenish. That is not a good sign. It means there is meconium in the amniotic fluid. We forgo waiting for the contractions to be spaced close and head to the hospital in case the baby is in distress.
12 p.m. -- We get to the hospital, find out that the baby is ok, and that Megan is still at 3. Crushing. We decide to go to a labor and delivery room to labor until maybe she dialates and we can go to the birthing center.
6 p.m. -- After laboring intensely for 6 hours, Megan's labor stops and she gets checked again. Still 3, and it's a body blow. Megan is looking like a champion still, somehow ready to keep going, but the clock is ticking now that the water is broken and we can't wait for it to happen. The midwife suggests pitocin, a scary word to someone trying to have a natural birth. Megan didn't want drugs, but she wanted a healthy baby more, so she agreed to the pitocin.
7 p.m. -- Megan is hooked up to an IV and the baby is put on constant monitoring. We are doing all the things our natural labor guides swear on bibles against. The pitocin starts and Megan's second wind is swiftly knocked out of her as the contractions get very intense. She wants to try to have this kid, but is so tired she can barely keep herself together. Megan is still 3. We stop the pitocin drip.
8 p.m. -- The midwife suggests an epidural and Megan feels like all is lost. To her an epidural meant cesarean, and she had worked so hard to avoid one. The midwife explains that if Megan can sleep through her contractions she might be able to get there and have enough energy to push. They give her and I some time to talk about it and eventually we see the reasoning for it and Megan throws her plans in the garbage to hopefully get this kid out.
[again, the times must be off because now it's like midnight, but there wasn't a 4 hour gap]

MONDAY (B-DAY)
12 a.m. -- Megan gets the epidural and remarks how totally weird not feeling her abdomen and below is. I tell her to stop thinking about it and get some sleep. She does. I doze on and off on a folt out chair/cot.
5 a.m. -- Megan is feeling some pressure, which means the baby is lower. She gets checked and is at 7 cm! She is overwhelmed with relief that this is actually working. Her epidural is wearing off on one side so she changes positions and gets a little bit of a re-up and goes back to sleep. I nap with one eye open.
7:30 a.m. -- The baby is showing signs that it's moved even lower. Megan gets checked and she is at 10!!! She and I are laughing because her body did it, and because we'll be having a kid any minute now... and we've been working at t his for over three days!
8 a.m. -- Megan starts pushing.
8:28 a.m. -- Penelope Edwards Smith is born. We are both overcome with joy. The feeling you get when you see your own child born is both indescribable and unforgettable. Everything up to this point in the process is completely overshadowed by how awesome this moment is. Megan doesn't even remember a lot of this happening, but both of us will remember first seeing our little girl.

Luckily she won't remember seeing me. After 77 hours of labor I looked like this:

Gary Busy, eat your heart out.

Deal of a Lifetime: The Birth of a Daughter

2010-01-18T19:42:00.000-06:00

Penelope Edwards Smith was born January 18th, 2010 at 8:28 am. She is 7 pounds 14.5 ounces and 20 inches long. She is also the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Now the pictures! Tomorrow the story of Megan's 77 hour labor and delivery (it sounds scary, but it has a happy ending).

Blowout Bargain: The Birth of a Nephew

2010-01-14T19:54:00.006-06:00

My sister had her baby after 36 hours of labor. From what I hear it was a labor of love and the end result was a new baby boy, James Bailey Marshall. Congrats to the Marshall family on their new addition! I'll add a pic as soon as I have one.

On Sale Today: Sibling Rivalry

2010-01-13T20:08:00.002-06:00

As the oldest of five (me and four sisters) I learned early to assert myself over those who are both younger and more impressionable than me. Sometimes dominance was about securing as much of some limited resource (think parent time) as I wanted. Sometimes it was about enforcing behaviors, like staying the hell away from my stuff, that made my life easier. And sometimes it was just about seeing if I could make the littler ones do things like bite themselves (true story). But I'm older now. My life is well established and I don't have any need to press my 1012 day advantage. I don't.

But, apparently my sister does. My oldest sister, Hillary, is in labor right now, and Megan is not, and I KNOW she did it just to rub it in. Was her due date before Megan's? Yes, it was. Has she done everything she could to help her go in to labor? Yeah, she did... so what?

The two of us have a long history of competition. Our family vacations were all taken in the car, and the trips quickly devolved in to the two of us trying to get the other in to trouble. Of course, the other siblings joined in this competition when they were old enough, but Hil and I were the league founders and rule enforcers. Usually the games would begin when one party innocently poked, leaned against or generally touched the other person in any way. Touching on a car trip was a serious transgression and was not an act to be forgiven. No, forgiveness was never on the table. A gauntlet was on the floor and there was only one way to respond. "[party #2] IS TOUCHING ME!" And there is only one way to answer such an accusation, "[party #1] TOUCHED ME FIRST!"

The war was in full swing now. Spiteful pokes would fly back and forth, and each one accompanied by a shrill battle report of who had, in fact, just touched whom. The winner of this first battle was whoever the parents blamed (when my parents started scolding both of us it was more about who was admonished first), and I must admit that, as the oldest, this was not my favored round. The second phase was a gear change from a shooting war to a cold one. Fingers hovered millimeters from noses, faces were made and so was every attempt to silently annoy the other by doing anything BUT touching. The goal of the standoff was to get the other party to report a false positive to the parents, proving to all in the car how unreliable the others reports of touching truly were. This is where my age started to hand me the advantage.

Phase three of the battle was where I could use my age as a bludgeon and get a real lead in this sibling conflict. Phase three was much more nuanced than either of the first two, because the battle was no longer about playing your opponent, but was instead about playing the parents. At some point in this drawn out Vietnam of who touched who, the parents would switch their scorn from the person who had provably touched the other to the person who was reporting the touching. I could usually see this transition coming a mile away, and could set brilliant traps that my less salty opponent would joyfully leap in to. It was here, in phase three, where I would declare my decisive victories.

All through our lives we were bickering about who's friends belonged to who and what CD was in who's room. The competition slowed down during our college years, but family reunions could sometimes still pull it out of us. It was never about hating each other (at least I hope it wasn't), more a constant test of who was the Smith family alpha, and Hillary always gave as good as she got... but if it was a race I won. Just kidding! ...but seriously.

{Ok, ok... I am going to take off my big brother hat for just a minute and say, in plain language, that I am really excited for Hillary and Eric. Their daughter is the cutest kid I've met and their son will be amazing too. I wish her all the best, and I hope she gets the birth experience that she's worked so hard for. I'm rooting for you Hil!}

Best of luck to the Marshall family. And to our little mini-Mart: Beware! All your cousins are older than you!

edit: apparently putting something in carrots means it's HTML and it won't show up... using [ ] now.

On Sale Today: Perspective

2010-01-12T21:37:00.001-06:00

I made a commitment to myself when we reopened Mega-Mart to blog every day. This is the fourth blog and I've already missed a day, and as I sat down today I realized I had hit the "maybe I'll write about not knowing what to write about" phase. But, my fellows, keep those hearth fires roaring!

My problem is not that nothing is happening, it's just that nothing is happening that I can write about right now. For example, mini-Mart is still holding out for the absolute perfect time to arrive. And while we, the parents-pending, are content to wait to document their every breath, wiggle and coo, when I sit down to write I start noodling around in all the little stories that I might get to tell about my kid-to-be and I am no longer content to focus on any other time. It's hard to convey the gravitational pull these future imaginings hold (9.8 meters per second squared perhaps?), but out of a sense of misplaced duty, I will try. Imagine you are a groundhog and all of a sudden someone pulls you out of your front door, tells you that you saw your own shadow, and shoves you back inside. You groundhog spouse says, "I wouldn't worry about it too much." But seriously, what would you be thinking about all day?

"But this is not a blog about not knowing what to write," he said defiantly. No. Instead it is a blog about all the things I WILL write. There's nothing like a quick list of blog topic previews to get your mouths watering, so without further ado:

Baby's birth! This is the big one with such awesome highlights like name and weight (and pics!).
My latest art endeavor. I've been working on a portrait series to send out to friends for f-book "sharing is caring" obligations. It might end up on Etsy if it finishes strong.
I am working on a movie script that I should finish this year, there might be some good topics there.
The story of the chair delivery man.
The dreadful tale of IKEA.
Baby achievement blogs.
A blog or two about exactly how stupid Glen Beck is.
A long blog exploring the finer points of my political philosophy.
A review of the last season of Lost.
Photos of some of my favorite Chicago places (in the summer).

...and much more. I know, some of those look like I could have just written them today, but trust me, either the subject isn't ripe yet, or the I'd have needed a few more hours to construct and type it properly.

Lost in the Supermarket

2010-01-11T20:02:00.001-06:00

Thanks for reminding me! The Grocery Store Short-Circuit:

I wasn't born so much as I fell out

Still waiting on mini-Mart to make their grand opening. I know the masses are getting restless on this one (not to mention mom and dad), but hold your horses! They're a-comin'.

I came in here for a special offer

The day was last Monday. Megan and I were doing our weekly meal and grocery planning, an exercise that mostly consists of looking up five star recipes on http://allrecipes.com/, copy/pasting them into a shared Google document (shared, so we can both edit it), and then organizing and consolidating items to make shopping easier. Then we shop, iPhone in hand, referencing lists and looking up replacements for any ingredient we can not find. We are the blazing hot youth, the future shoppers of today.

I can no longer shop happily

Now that the situation is laid flat, on graph paper, plain as dogs, the story can begin. It's not a very good story, and maybe I should have mentioned that when I started, but I didn't, so sorry. Anyway, I breezed in to Strack and Van Til with a fierce look smeared across my face. Megan was at home, laid up with a case of the babies, and I was on a speed run. You see, we use Zipcars and you pay for those by the half hour, so when we drive we want to force brevity. I had mentally planned my route through the store as well as some alternatives in case of emergencies (spills, overturned carts, crashed HoverRounds) and, like a chess game, I was keeping myself focused on three moves ahead.

Hearing that noise was my first ever feeling

The first item was cilantro (coriander to our English readers) located 20 ft. from the true store entrance (I don't count Sucker's Alley). My mind was already working out the intricacies of the deli counter when my walking self sent the distress call. The 'tro was not where it should have been. I snapped back in to present time and evaluted the situation. Where there should have been 'tro there was only green onions, hmm. Next on the list was leeks, which I thought should have been nearby, but as I scanned the vegetable mister all I saw were green onions and their green onion friends. Half of the vegetable aisle was just green onions, and my brain couldn't handle it.

and the silence makes me lonely

I walked in circles for probably fifteen minutes going over the same ten thoughts:

They must be out of all those vegetables
Green Onions!?!
They CAN'T be out of that many vegetables, this is America!
Maybe I'm not in the right spot
Maybe I don't know what a green onion is?
I'm going to check the whole aisle again
Green Onions??
If they were really out of this stuff why not leave the shelf empty?
Maybe this IS cilantro??
NO! Don't be an idiot! Start the checklist over again!

But at last I finally had to accept that they were, in fact, actually out of half of the vegetables I needed. I had to accept that some moron thought filling the whole place with green onions was better than NOT doing that. And I had to accept that my inability to cope with said decisions cost me another half hour's worth of car time.

I extended my time on the Zipcar with Megan's iPhone and finished shopping with an airy, puzzled look where my tenacious one had been.

And since I got it in your heads... (you only get one free listen... use it wisely!)

Lost In The Supermarket - The ...

And another one you never knew you knew...

Green Onions - Booker T & the ...

One Day Sale: Pool Cues

2010-01-10T14:25:00.001-06:00

Megan and I went out today to enjoying some scrumptious Mexican food. We sat and chatted about what we could do to get labor moving (not much), while enjoying the sound of someone "chirping" a loud, pointless conversation right behind us. To the person who invented "chirping:" please kill yourself.

On TV at this fine establishment was women's professional pool. My first snarky remark was about how the Sunday noon time slot must be really hurting for sports if we're watching women's pool. Part of the humor was supposed to draw on the viewing publics general distaste for women's sports. "I was watching the WNBA," is both a setup and a punchline and almost a joke all by itself. But, as I picked apart the joke in my head, searching for the next twist that could keep the laughs rolling, I thought of something that made me genuinely curious. Why does pool have a separate women's and men's league?

In general I understand why both genders in sport have not been integrated. Our rights as people might be equal, but the peak of physical ability is tuned to be higher for men. I don't mean to say that any man can beat any woman with equal training, lord knows I've been outrun many times (he said cryptically). But I do think that the best man can beat the best woman with equal training, and I don't think many will argue that.

Where I start getting confused is in instances like pool and darts (and to a lesser extent, bowling). These are not games that measure physical maximums. Instead these are games of finesse, agility and skill; contests that should not favor any gender specifically. I googled a bit about the question (it's irresponsible to ask a question and not google it, tell your friends/family) and most of the people talked about the fact that women have only recently been taken seriously as pro pool players, so the population is green. There were no female pool elders to teach ladies the pro tricks, nor a support system to convince the ladies that were masters of the cue to keep it up. Basically it was an infrastructure problem.

Now that women have their own pool league and a couple idols they can aspire to be, maybe the next generation will see a battle of the sexes for the championship. I know what you're thinking, "pool is so phallic, even then the men will have the advantage." To that I say: men might brag about how they work the cue, but women brag about how the cue can be used to work the man.

Our New Location

2010-01-09T20:12:00.004-06:00

In addition the arrival of mini-Mart (coming soon!), we've also relocated our home base. For those who didn't know, Megan and I had been living on the 27th floor of a downtown high rise. When picking the location, we pictured friends coming over to relax on the balcony after work and summers spent plashing in the pool. It never happened (with one exception: go Hartrichs!). It turned out that having a cool apartment was made much less cool by being drastically inconvenient to travel to and park. Ironic that the apartment we chose for it's location was deeded a failure for the same reason.

We decided to relocate to Logan Square and get close to all the people we moved back to Chicago to get close to. We threw ourselves into the new place, trading the minimalist furniture and bare wall style of our downtown digs for a place that feels like it's our home (finally!). It wasn't easy though. We made some friends (overstock.com, CB2 and amazon.com) and a few enemies (IKEA is a fuckingpieceofshit!!!!) but in the end we were left standing in my favorite apartment I've ever had.

Before I go on, behold!

On top of the above style buffet, we also get to live within walking distance of almost everyone we spend time in this crazy town. Can we go to wing night on Monday? Yes we can. Can we walk over to watch the Bears game, or play some cards? Yes we can. Can our friends stop by when the baby is born and Megan and I are too busy figuring out how to raise a child to go anywhere? Yes they can... and had they better.

For next time, remind me to tell you guys about The Grocery Store Short-Circuit.

EDIT: Change how the pictures were displayed. Still figuring out Picasa.
EDIT 2: aparently X-Large is bigger than my margins... or I effed up the HTML.

Hiatus Over

2010-01-07T07:14:00.002-06:00

It's been exactly one year since our last post, and the blog has been gathering dust in some dank corner of this giant network of tubes. But dust is not corrosive (and even if it was the dust was just a metaphor) so we've picked the old girl back up, given it a few whacks, and put it right back on our heads. Blogs are like hats in that way.

Instead of making one gigantic post retelling our busy year, we'll have some posts that start out "Did I tell you the one about... ###?" (where ### is what the blog is about) that will fill in the large hole our laziness has left in our life story.

If somehow you only know us through this blog, first I can't believe you waited a whole year for this, and second we are having a baby (mini-mart) that should be here any day now. Expect a lot of updates about that.

This is the first of many, so pictures will come later today, and stories right after. I'll be giving the whole look of the store a redoux, so stay tuned for tons of wacky wild stuff.

2008: a fond farewell

2009-01-06T00:49:00.002-06:00

Megan and I will miss 2008. It was a year full of great stuff. 2009 has a lot to live up to, and starting in a recession is not the foot you should lead with. So to celebrate 2008, here's a short song/peom I wrote just now from the depths of my heart:

2008, you were great.
I can't think of one thing about you I hate
Obama was elected
Our dues were collected
And we moved back to the United States

so until the NEXT 2008... farewell two-zero-zero-eight, my friend, fare well.

The housing crisis hits... home?!

2008-12-15T21:51:00.002-06:00

So much has happened since the last time we blogged. Megan and I have settled in to Chicago like old pros. We had a housewarming party, millions of visits from family... the whole works. But blogging has taken a back seat since most of our readers are, well, here.

But tonight something interesting happened. Megan and I were watching HIMYM, chilling on the couch when there was a knock at the door. We ran to see who it was. I suspected it was our neighbor asking to borrow our wine key again, but instead it was a notice of foreclosure on our apartment. Megan and I don't own this place, so this message wasn't for us, but greeting that man with his voluminous document was a bit sobering.

First up, even if we're not getting foreclosed on, we will get evicted if the bank takes over the property. The guy tried to make a joke about how these days at least we'd get a little notice, and that in the old days the bank would have just booted us. It wasn't as funny as he wanted. But you should have seen the look on his face when we told him we were paying his debtors rent every month... he thought that was pretty funny.

The news really isn't as bad as it might seem, we'll get 60-90 days notice if it all goes through and apartments are falling from the sky like dogs when it rains hard. But, if anyone is looking for a last minute gift for us, we might know a cheap apartment that we like that the last minute shopper could get us a 30 year 5% fixed rate mortgage for... ;)

Vacation over. Real Life rebooted.

2008-10-22T20:53:00.004-05:00

There's so much to cover since our last post I'm going to have to skip a lot. Hopefully I'll be able to post a bunch more anecdotes and video later, but given our posting history even I'm skeptical.

First up is Rome.

Rome is the center of one of the greatest and long lasting empires in human history. It was the center of the ancient world, and evidence of it's long legacy is dripping from every building and visible on every corner. And though the deep history and iconic culture of this city is what drew us here, it's also has a down side. It's a little something we called Museum Fatigue.

Museum Fatigue is what you get when there's so much art, architecture and sculpture to look at that your culture receptors in our brain get depleted and you can't appreciate anything anymore, no matter how inspiring. Symptoms include glazed eyes, impatient glares, and frustration written all over your face. Here's a picture of a textbook case of the condition:

This picture was taken at the Vatican, but our worst case had to be during the mandatory 4 hours of museum they make you walk through before you get to the Sistine Chapel.

But don't think we didn't enjoy Rome. Rome was awesome. Our problem was really that it was too awesome to cram into the three days we had to poke around. If I had an excuse to work there for a few months I'd take it in a heartbeat, because that's how much time it'd take to soak this city in.

From there we took the red-eye to Cairo.

I'm just going to drop pictures here, because there's too much to write and we got some good ones.

And from Cairo it was off to sweet home Chicago. No pictures from here yet, but let me tell you all this... it's great to see the old crew again. We are missing London a bit and wishing we had our stuff that's still on a boat en route, but off to a decent start over here.

Barcelona

2008-09-28T12:44:00.002-05:00

Megan and I arrived in Barcelona on Friday night and have been relaxing to the max out here. We've spent two days just rambling around and lying on the beach and couldn't ask for better weather to do it in. We had a great little party last night where we all played a Brazilian game called Truco. It was like a 3 trick version of Euchre with some crazy fake out potential. Pictures will be forthcoming as soon as we can borrow Ang and Oli's roommate Matt's camera.

We have two more days here in Barca, and I can't imagine we'll do much... but I do think we'll have a total blast.

Also, in the next batch of pictures I should have a wicked sunburn!

Heading round the world, then back home again

2008-09-23T17:12:00.003-05:00

For me, one of the best selling points for our move to London was that we could essentially double our savings when we moved back to the States someday because of the highly favorable exchange rate. (Sigh, oh how I'll miss the all mighty Great British Pound.) I thought we'd live here long enough to save up and then we'd buy a house in whatever US city we landed in. I dreamed of a Manhattan condo bought by biding our time in London.

Turns out those were the dreams of an ignorant immigrant. After two short years in London, we're going to blow all the money we have leftover on two weeks of awesomeness and instead of landing with an inflated bank account, arrive almost broke. Oh, well. WORTH IT!

Sept. 26 we leave London for good. Our good friends the Seeleys are very generously putting us up at their place in Barcelona for a few nights where we will cross paths with Cass and Caleb. Then we head to Rome for three nights before spending five nights in, wait for it...OMGIcan'tbelievemylifeisthisgoodrightnow!... Cairo to see the Pyramids and the Sphinx. We will land in Chicago on October 9 totally worn out jettlagged and under-prepared to start work on October 13.

Remember when I said 2008 was going to be a good year? We're such lucky people, me and Marty.

I've got mixed feelings about returning home, mostly because the last few months have been really good in London. I've felt like after a long time of feeling like a foreigner every day, one day I woke up and this city was a part of me. It took me a while to get comfortable here, and when I finally did, living here sort of seemed like a victory I kept wanting to celebrate and remember. But on the other hand, it isn't like Chicago ever stopped being my first love. I just fear now that it might take a short while to remember what I loved about it.

Anyway, we won't be blogging again until well after we land in The Windy City, so maybe more on that later. Now, packing needs to get done!

I don't get political here but...

2008-09-17T11:18:00.004-05:00

I'm in Germany this week at a conference where European animation producers hawk their products to broadcasters for next season. They show their pilots to an audience of a few hundred people and give a little talk about the inspiration for their shows.

And would you believe it, Sarah Palin has been a running joke in many of the presentations. So many of the delegates here are asking me what the hell my country is doing. It. Is. Totally. Embarrassing.

I've been having a huge political discussion with some misguided Republicans in the more private setting of Facebook (i.e. pages my parents don't read), that I encourage you to join in if you are my friend there. There a former classmate is so warped that she has decided to vote McCain because she believes Obama is for late-term abortions. ( Where do conservatives get these utter falsehoods? Oh yeah... Murdoch, the man who ruined the country. Obama is clear on his position AGAINST legalizing late term abortions.) Although she admits she would like gays to have the right to marry, she is choosing to vote pro-life. "Nobody's forcing you to have an abortion," we say. "If it doesn't affect you, why not vote to give people the people who are already here rights, instead of saving some imaginary babies?" When pressed on her infuriating logic, she can't give a good reason but just says "That's what I believe, so I'm not changing." Oh, the hypocrisy!

This article my friend Chad alerted me to is OUTRAGEOUS: Read this article and then tell me Republicans are fighting fair, I dare you.

I'm just aghast that this election is so close. And absolutely amazed. It's pretty much all I think about.

Now, does someone have room at their table for Thanksgiving? I'm pretty sure I'm not invited anymore.

Oh yeah, about Thanksgiving...Marty and I are moving back to the States in October. We found out last week and are working out the details. More on that later.

Marty tried this when he proposed:

2008-08-25T17:41:00.002-05:00

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

It didn't exactly work.

Czech Please

2008-08-05T18:51:00.001-05:00

When I sat down to write an update last time I didn't get past the intro. Part of the reason I decided to cut it short was because I thought a couple easy to read chunks might be better than one daunting wall of text. Of course I had intended to follow up on the info yesterday... but given our recent track record, I'll mark one-day-late in the on-time column.

Megan and I took a trip to Prague a week and a bit ago and had a blast. Prague is a beautiful city and it was nice to get away from the busy winding streets of London to the quaint and quiet winding streets of the Czech Republic. We highly recommend a visit if you're in the neighborhood.

The only downside of a place this nice to visit is that a lot of people are there visiting. Megan and I are not fans of wading through tourists, nor are we very keen to plod along with the masses to scarf down a pre-packaged experience (though I must admit that I have grown to love audio tours). Instead we bounded around the city early on in the day, taking in all the sights we could manage to appreciate in a day, then we plopped down on some cafe seats and stayed there for the next five hours. Sometimes the best way to see a city is to just sit there.

Special SALE on Catch-up!

2008-08-03T06:58:00.002-05:00

I thought I'd post a bit of an update for y'all. It's been a while and there is a lot to cover. In fact there is so much that needs to be blogged that it's paralyzed me... writing wise. It's like when I put leftovers in the fridge, intending to eat them the next day, but something happens and I end up eating something else. Then the day after that I have a normal dinner or something, and my leftovers are pushed to the back of my mind and fridge. As time goes on I know that the Tupperware is waiting there, holding in whatever gruesome butterfly my half-spent food is hatching into, waiting for me to spring it's cage, clean it and let the cycle start anew. But I don't.

I leave it there, careful to never even brush against the container, because to touch it would be to acknowledge that it's there and dissolve the hope that maybe, just maybe, it will go away on its own. Megan and I will sometimes comment to each other that something should be done about container, but as soon as it's determined that irresponsibility cannot be easily assigned, the topic slips silently back into the realm of the dark and unmentionable. Even if there is a clear culprit, enforcing a clean up is still not the immediate action. We both know that if things had gone slightly differently, our positions could easily be reversed.

And so we adapt. When I open the refrigerator there is a spot that I never look at. I know exactly where it is, and what it used to be, but if it knows that I looked it will expect to be dealt with. It is the shame spot.

Then one day you open the fridge, take the box out and clean it, like it was nothing at all. And like that the monster is deflated and life is humming along as normal.

And that's what happened with blogging. But the fridge is cleaned and we're starting fresh...

now.

Huffy's Married!?!?!?!

2008-06-30T13:57:00.009-05:00

I had a blast in my quick trip back to the States. I was really glad to be with Huffy and Haroon on their big day, and I'm looking forward to knowing them throughout their marriage.
Their wedding was a huge affair (500 people!), and the bride and groom were both beautiful.

Here's me and Colin in our wedding gear:

Uh, Colin, I think this is your new Facebook profile picture. It's classic Fbook, no? I'm emailing it to you now, and will be very disappointed if you don't use it.

Had time to make a stop to visit the family in Rockford. My brother and his girlfriend Sadie and Susan and her new baby, Oliver.

And me at a park festival on Saturday in front of American flag. Odd how being an ex-pat makes you a tourist in your home country. I'm not really one to wax poetic here in this space (or at all really), but thanks to my parents and friends who put me up or made the effort to see me last week. It's reassuring to know that you can, in fact, go home again.

The Cliffs of Dover (I Believe I Can Fly)

2008-06-20T17:42:00.004-05:00

Megan is in the US and I'm still here in the UK and I have to say, I miss that lady. You Chicagoans better take good care of her!

On the plus side, Tom and Erin are here keeping me company. We took a day trip to the cliffs of Dover and had one of the best hikes of my life. We walked at about 5 miles out to an old lighthouse on the coast, dropped off trash, and trekked back. And, while the turnaround point was nothing special, the journey was amazing. Standing on the edge (or a few feet away) of a 300 foot cliff, staring at the other beautiful cliffs just made me remember what a huge and powerful world we live in. On the other side of us were billowing fields of grass, and as we picked our way through the foot-beaten paths, seeing maybe twenty people the entire day, I felt like I was in a place that was not packaged for easy enjoyment. Gone was the 'on rails' feeling I get like a place like Stonehenge. Instead we just got a big, open-ended, glorious hike.

Enough blabber... PICS PLS!

Illinois Summer visit

2008-06-16T13:10:00.005-05:00

I think everyone who cares already knows this, but just in case...

I'll be in Rockford from Tuesday June 17th through Thursday June 19th, and I'll be in Chicago from the 20th to the 22nd. I'm ecstatic to attend the wedding of Huffy and Baldy on Friday because I was there from the beginning and these days I'm a sucker for the ceremony that joins the lives of two great people. Plus, I get to hang out with my best pals in Chi-town, see my favorite city in the world, and eat some real food. None of this European fake stuff. ;)

Colin, I already have my "America face" on.

If you want to get together sometime during that time, shoot me an email!

Marty vs. Denis

2008-05-22T15:19:00.008-05:00

I almost forgot that we had a ton of video from our March trip home. Well, to be more accurate, I did forget. I slapped together this one so that you can all be aware of Marty's secret super power...revealed in the first few seconds of the film. Plus a great performance from a total stranger.

p.s. YouTube keeps dropping the video, any ideas about why?

Hey

2008-05-13T15:10:00.002-05:00

Whether you are a fan of How I Met Your Mother or not, you owe it to yourself to click here.

CLICK

you're welcome!

I Made a Mistake

2008-05-09T05:38:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I should have just posted this:

My Bad.

Dear Hollywood...

2008-05-08T15:18:00.003-05:00

No one likes costume dramas. Please stop making them.

I don't know how you get to be a media mogul or a decision maker in Hollywood, but I do know that "knowing what's good" is not a prerequisite. When Megan and I saw Iron Man we got to see previews for The Duchess starring Keira Knightley (a.k.a. the most annoying waif in film). After The Other Boleyn Girl, Elizabeth and the rest of the forgettable Victorian era look - how - big - my - dress - and - hair - are - while - I - struggle - to - escape - the - confining - roles - of - a - traditional - society - and - be - with - my - true - love.

Take note, Hollywood, if you really feel the need to keep making these things let me know. I'll make a few for you if you want. The only tricky part is finding a Victorian woman or Jane Austin book that hasn't been done yet. I'm thinking Darwin's wife if ready for her story to be told. It's topical, Victorian and with quotes like this (from Wikipedia):

one with columns headed “Marry” and “Not Marry”. Advantages included “constant companion and a friend in old age ... better than a dog anyhow”, against points such as “less money for books” and “terrible loss of time.

how could it not be a hit?

So I guess my conclusion is that I hate costume drama unless I they're making money for me... and since the odds are a million to one against that, I just hate them.

Watch for Emma Darwin in fall 2010.

We... Live... AGAIN!!!

2008-05-07T15:55:00.005-05:00

It's been a while. Things have been far from quite here, as silent as we've been.

First up, Tom and Britteny have trumped the rest of you noobs and actually came and visited us. Megan had a business trip three days and I had to work 'til 1am one of the days they were here, but they didn't miss a beat and ended up taking me to some cool places in London I'd never seen. Thanks guys! It was a blast... and the Magic: the Gathering tourney I went to the day you left was fun. ;)

Then, Megan hurt her ankle in a spectacular walking accident. See, she was walking to get a glass of water at work and then she down. People from her office rushed to her aide (which she hates) and offered to get her things (which she also hates) and THEN rode with her in the taxi to the emergency room (which mortified her). See Megan hates people doting on her. She's an independent spirit who embarrasses easily, so the whole ordeal was pretty much her worst nightmare. The doctors called her a week later to tell her that her ankle might be chipped... then the second doctor told her that the "chip" was just another bone in her ankle and that the first doctor was probably on illicit drugs when he diagnosed it.

We helped our friends Mike and Chad move the last weekend. (Mike's blog Moaksey is liked to the right) There's nothing that lets you know you have some real friends like doing something that sounds so terrible on paper and having a good time doing it. We went to a Vietnamese place for lunch that almost sprained my delicious gland. It was well enough to do Vietnamese food again the next day though. Seriously, how did Thai food become so ever present, and Vietnamese food got nothing?

We went and saw Iron Man, and boy did it rock. Comic fans, make sure you stay after the credits for a little fan boy awesomeness. Be warned though, the credits are like 20 minutes long. As for the movie itself, RDJ was a great Tony Stark and they struck a great balance between all the characters. The shunned a few cliches to keep us guessing, nut embraces enough that it still had the feel good action movie feel. It plays in the same league as Batman Begins and X-Men 2 and is worth the trip to see it.

We also got Wii Fit and are using it to stay in shape. Having an animated telling you you need to work out more is a surprisingly good motivator. For fun we picked up MArio Kart, and we've been racing around on that too. It's less of a work out, but a tad more fun.

Tom and Erin (who you have all watched rock a wedding for like the last forever) are coming to visit in June, and we're looking forward to that. This year is the year of Mega-Mart, it was forseen, and it is now coming to pass. We can't wait to see those two so we can remember what it was like to be a newlywed. Ha ha, JK we still act like we just met!

Well the intimidating first-post-in-way-too-long-how-do-I-say-everything post is over. Hopefully we can make this a more regular occurrence.

p.s. Hillary Clinton, you lose. At life. Get over it.

Tom and Erin rock a wedding

2008-04-02T18:03:00.003-05:00

We're back in the UK and pretty much totally jet lagged. We took a ton of video on our trip, but probably will not find time to edit most of it for a few weeks. I've got a work trip to Cannes next week and we are hosting the Newmans for a week starting Saturday.
We had a wonderful time seeing everybody, including meeting our 2-month-old niece Josie. There will be more on our trip later, but in the meantime we couldn't wait to show everyone Tom and Erin's awesome first dance. Enjoy!

Chicago visit

2008-03-20T15:43:00.003-05:00

Hey Chicagoans!
I've been feeling the stress of trying to meet up with everyone we love in Illinois and have deemed it impossible to try to arrange different meetings. Regretfully, we are only in town during work days too which makes things more complicated. So we're going to have a big party instead. Not a bad trade off if you ask me.

Meet us at the Leona's on Augusta at 7 p.m. on Wednesday the 27th. We want you there!

Easter Travel itinerary

2008-03-18T07:45:00.003-05:00

Hello folks!
Here's our easter travel itinerary

Friday, March 21: Leave London for NYC.
March 21-25: Be totally awesome in New York.
March 25-27: Rock it in Chicago.
March 28-31: Party hard in Champaign, IL to celebrate the wedding of Tom and Erin!
April 1: Be in London totally dead from jet lag

Hopefully we'll see you at some point during the trip. We're staying with Janice in ChiCity to spread around the burden of hosting us. (We didn't stay with her during Christmas.) But we want to see everyone so email us, comment, facebook, myspace, text, carrier pidgeon, smoke signal, whatever to plan a hook up during our brief stay in the States.

Berlin Video

2008-03-15T21:35:00.007-05:00

Two great things happened last weekend: We went to Berlin for the first time and finally had an occasion to use the video camera our generous parents bought us for Christmas. Hope you enjoy our first effort. Just a warning: it's 10 whole minutes...quite long. See if you can pinpoint when Marty gets frustrated with his own commentary. Heh heh.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to get rid of the blurring and compression problems, let us know.

The IRONY

2008-03-10T16:47:00.002-05:00

While working on our video of our Berlin trip we ran across this site:

The Saint Charles County Council of the Blind

The slogan for the group:

Blind People Helping Each Other Move Forward

Hahahahahaaa! Priceless!

Las Vegas

2008-03-05T14:24:00.003-06:00

Editor's note: This is Marty's attempt to summarize his Las Vegas trip. He made it as far as landing in the city. Haha. Anyway, he left it up on the computer, and my guess is that he'll never get back to it before the trip was, like, forever ago. So I just published it for him , without his permission. Oh, the scandal.

Hello again shoppers!

We are not the best bloggers over here, but I thought I'd sit down and give ya'll a taste of what Mega-Mart is up to.

First up, I thought I'd spice up the woefully factual tales of Las Vegas that Caleb told over on his blog.

I left for Heathrow straight from work. I was excited about leaving and probably could have waited a bit to go, but the sooner I was on the way to the airport the sooner I could let the vacation mindset take over. I rode the tube, blissfully tapping my foot along with a good mix of The National, LCD Soundsystem, Of Montreal, with a dash of Flight of the Conchords to keep me smiling. I arrived at O'Hare with with time on my side and started poking around for the Delta terminal. I couldn't find it on any of the airport signage, but the tube information desk put me on the path to terminal three.

After a wandering through half finished hallways, and up barely marked stairwells I arrived at terminal three departures. The last stairway opened up to an outdoor concourse with a massive monitor displaying departures lording over the airport throng. I scanned The Big Board for my departure time and came up empty. I double checked it, to make sure I was using military properly (which I was) and starting running through where I might have lost the thread. Had the tube information desk told me the wrong terminal? I busted out the Blackberry to dig out my confirmation email, verified the time and that I was on Delta... leaving from Gatwick airport. F***.

London has several airports that keep it bustling. Most trans-Atlantic flights leave from Heathrow, but if you buy a cheap enough flight you just might leave or arrive in Gatwick. Gatwick, for those not familiar with London, is nowhere near The City, Heathrow or really any part of London. When Megan and I were coming back from Ireland and the plane started it's decent the only thing I could think was, "where are we decending to." London wasn't even visible from a mile up in the air.

I started to panic a bit. The word(s?) non-refundable kept popping into my head, and I frowned like I had to fire a sweatshop full of pregnant woman. I headed for arrivals because that would mean taxis, and taxis were my last great hope. One hour and one hundred pounds later (bye bye value trip) I was at Gatwick ten minutes before check-in closed. The airport was empty and I made my flight in plenty of time. The flight was empty as well and I had a full row to myself. I was beaming. My beams dimmed when the only two children on the flight were seated in front of me. Their parents slept like babies, while the actual kids ran wild for eight hours. I sometimes wish I could hit other people's kids, or at least slap the parents of kids like these. Then I transfered, then Las Vegas.

Las Vegas, the city of lights!

Do it in '08!

2008-02-23T16:10:00.009-06:00

I'm borrowing that line from my pals at Palmer Hall in Chicago, of course. But I'm going to run with it, too. I'm feeling pretty positive about this year, for sure.

First, Our friends Dave and Mendy (AKA Potunkey) are a month into their grand adventure: a year-long trip through Russia, Asia, Australia, and The Americas. Talk about Doing It! We miss them something awful; they were so important to us during our first year when we were trying to figure out who we were in this city. But we're proud to know people who have the guts to do something so daring and so enriching. Dave is a funny journalist/photojournalist and has been writing some compelling stories on the blog linked under More Shopping on the side of this web page: Sorry for the Group Email. Have you been clicking on it? I hope so, because the site is funded by ads, and each click gets our two wanderlust-filled friends a couple of cents. So make a habit to click on the blog every day. It adds up, man! With your help, the Potunkeys will get funding for a meal in China or a place to stay in Korea and you'll be entertained with the insights of a smart young Englishman and his smart Yankee wife. Win, win if you ask me.

Speaking of travel, it's high on the MegaMart list this year, too. The opportunity to travel was one of the most attractive parts about our move to this side of the world but so far we haven't lived up to that goal. Well, I've been fortunate with my job, Marty's only been out of the UK once! We're hoping to meet up with The Potunkeys at some point, most likely New Zealand this summer, and we've pledged to ourselves that we will spend the money on other short trips in Europe throughout the year. The first travel of the year will be back in the States, but no less exciting. Marty's in Las Vegas right now, actually, celebrating Tom's bachelor party. Next, we've already booked a trip to NYC for Easter weekend, which is coincidentally my birthday.

Last year sucked because I felt so isolated and unsure of my identity and goals in this country. But already this year I feel more at home in this city. Moving across the world was tough in a lot of ways at first, but now that I'm over the worst of it I'm so glad for what it's taught me about myself and my country. This year is going to be so much better just for that reason alone. Plus, we're due back in Chicago at least three times this year for the weddings of close friends. We're happy for the friends and the excuses to go back will definitely ease my worries about keeping connections alive back home. What's even more, a few of our friends (and one sibling!) say they might pull off a trip to come and see us this year. We know how hard it is get up the motivation and money to travel when you've got your own goals, so we're honored when anyone does it to see us.

Lastly, I stray from politics in this blog because, well, that's not this blog's purpose. We set up this site so our friends and family could look at pictures of us pointing to Big Ben, not to disappoint our parents by reminding them that we are evil liberals. But I just can't help it: I love Obama! I want to shout it from the rooftops. I've been doing my best to keep up over here, reading mostly American press and watching the debates on YouTube. His success in the primaries has me hoping that there can be progress made in our country, even in habitually corrupt Washington. He breeds inspiration, and it's certainly spread over to me on this side of the world. If he wins the election, I'm moving back home. Seriously. I could not imagine missing such a momentous time in our nation. On the other hand if old-politics Clinton wins, I may consider moving even farther away. Like to the moon.

Would you like a side of racism with that?

2008-02-18T14:48:00.010-06:00

We're two working stiffs who spend too much time at the office, so we get our groceries delivered to avoid falling into the gross and expensive habit of ordering Thai every night. We have to take stock of our shipment to make sure it's all there. This week's plan is to make guacamole. Yum. For that, you need:

Lots of delicious avocados. Check:

Essential tomatoes. Yes:

Throw in some onions. Yeah got plenty:

Cilantro (called coriander here). Ok, got it.:

But wait what's missing? Oh of course, an incredibly stereotypical Mexican from a past era (1940s?) to help make it! Good thing we didn't forget to order him.

That's the tortilla chip bag designed by the Wal-Mart of England, Tesco. It's like a Horatio Sanz SNL character. Pretty amazing.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T15:27:00.001-06:00

Dear Valentines,
We love you and miss you.
Love,
Mega-Mart

Dear Nobody,

2008-01-28T14:41:00.000-06:00

I'm assuming those anonymous comments left on the blog I wrote last week were from someone who doesn't actually know me. This is the internet; there's no telling who reads this blog. But just in case...uh, it was over the top on purpose, dude. I'd be sad if one of my friends (or two friends, possibly, but being a master forensic linguist I have deduced they were both left by the same person) thought my ideals were really so simplistic that I have not "Asked [my]self why the majority of countries in this world take issue with America."

Or if they thought I would actually blast an anthem of sarcasm on election night. That wouldn't be neighborly.

Though I do, in fact, have a big hate on for Micheal Moore and his cohorts and really wish I was home for the election year. And many Europeans are naive about world affairs, sigh, just like many Americans, of course.

The song is a good reflection of a phase I was in a few months ago when I was frustrated with the many conversations I'd had with some Europeans about the role the US played in the world in which they repeated some unfair, untrue stereotypes about Americans. The worst of which involved one person arguing that the whole world should be able to vote for the US President because the US's actions had such a global impact. Yeah, ok.

No Country and Ketchup

2008-01-26T12:54:00.000-06:00

Megan and I saw No Country for Old Men today, and loved it. The Coen brothers are at the top of their game on this one, and it's not like they were slouching before. The two protagonists, Llewelyn (Josh Brolin) and Ed Tom Bell (Tommy Lee Jones), are both men of the land, sun grizzled Texans who seem at home on a horse with a rifle in their hands. Though Jones and Brolin never have a scene together in the movie the two are linked. Both are not men from this era (the film takes place in the 70's) but old western style cowboys living in a world that has no use for survival skills or horse sense.

Javier Bardem plays Anton Chigurh, a detached, murderous, and forceful man. We first meet him as he brutally strangles the officer that's arrested him with the chain of his locked handcuffs. From there he's off on the road, leaving a trail of bodies everywhere he goes. But there is no glee in his murder, no malice or anger. He doesn't kill for any purpose other than he thinks he should. Bardem wears the role well, and keeps the character menacing at all times by never breaking from the casual emotionless way he kills others. If Anton looks the same way buying eggs at the grocery store as he does shooting a bystander in the chest, then watching him buy eggs does not mean that murder isn't seconds away.

As much as I'd like to go on and on, I don't want to ruin any more of the film. The end is one of the best endings I have ever seen, and the movie manages to grow into something much bigger and more beautiful than I could have expected. Go see it.

We also watched some of the stupidest crap I've ever seen when we got home. Megan was looking up reviews of the Runaway Bunnies book that Laura mentioned in her latest blog. What we found was expotv.com. On this site regular people make terrible, boring reviews of products that should never ever need to be reviewed... like ketchup. Rule for makigng your own review seem to be the following:
1) Hold up what you're talking about the whole time!
2) DO NOT write a script or pracice!!
3) You do not need to finish the book before reviewing it!!!
4) Review sometimes mean walking around describing the room you're in!!!!
5) If you forget what you're talking about, look at the thing you're reviewing for a while!!!!!
6) Please DO NOT consider what you're wearing or where you are when filimg!!!!!!
7) Please keep your voice small, emotionless and stuttery!!!!!!!
8) NEVER FORGET to say "I liked it," "I really liked it," and "it's good" (or pretty good)!!!!!!!!
9) DO NOT TOUCH EDITING SOFTWARE EVER!!!!!!!!!
10) Do not consider the ramifications for shilling anything you can think of!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy.

New addition to the family

2008-01-23T02:32:00.000-06:00

Welcome Josie Jean Marshall, born to Hillary and Eric on Jan. 22! (Our first niece.)

Don't blame the Canadians

2008-01-16T13:11:00.000-06:00

Here I am, on this self-important island, suffering the slings and arrows of the British/European idiot HATERS. The kind of haters who believe Micheal Moore or Louis Theorox practice good journalism and their documentaries paint an accurate picture of our vast, diverse and complicated country. (Oh, I'm so naive! I'm just finding the insane presenting it like it's the norm. It's on tape...means its fact. I'm crusading for the underdog,what?)

Anyway, no one told me about LCD Soundsystem's North American Scum when it came out last spring?! Apparently it was a minor hit here in the UK. Did they get the joke, who knows?

It would have helped me when things were particularly bad here in the spring and I was pining for some American support. At least I can love it with all my might now. And if I can't make it back for election night (oh, the sadness of missing out!), maybe I can blast this anthem of perfectly sarcastic patriotism. Take that, you haughty Europeans!

North American Scum lyrics

oh oh oh
oh i don't know, i don't know, oh, where to begin
we are north americans
and for those of you who still think we're from england
we're not, no.
we build our planes and our trains till we think we might die,
far from North America,
where the buildings are old and you might have lots of mimes.
aha, oh, oh.
i hate the feelin' when you're looking at me that way
cause we're north americans
but if we act all shy, it’ll make it ok
makes it go away.

oh I don't know, I don't know, oh, where to begin
when we're north american
but in the end we make the same mistakes all over again
come on north americans

we are north american scum
we’re from north america

and all the kids all the kids that want to make the scene
here in north america
when our young kids get to read it in your magazines
we don't have those
so where's the love where's the love where's the love where's the love where's the love tonight?
but there's no love man there's no love and the kids are uptight
so throw a party till the cops come in and bust it up
let's go north americans
oh you were planning it i didn't mean to interrupt
sorry
i did it once and my parents got pretty upset
freaked out in north america
but then i said the more i do it the better it gets

let's rock north america

[LCD Soundsystem, North American Scum lyrics and video on http://crocmusic.com/]

we are north american scum
we're from north america
we are north american scum
we are north american

new york's the greatest if you get someone to pay the rent
wahoo north america
and it's the furthest you can live from the government un huh huh
some proud american christians might disagree
here in north america
but new york's the only place we're keepin them off the street
boo boo now we can't have parties like in spain where they go all night
shut down in north america
or like berlin where they go another night, alright, un huh un huh

you see i love this place that i have grown to know
alright, north america.
and yeah, I know you wouldn’t touch us with a ten-foot pole
‘cause we’re north americans.

we are north american scum
we are north americans
we are north american scum
we love north america

take me back to the states man
north american scum
where we can be ????
north american
where the dj gigs are as fun
here in north american scum
don't blame the canadians
let go north america

OMG we finally posted!

2008-01-08T17:39:00.000-06:00

And check this out, I made a video! Unfortunately there wasn't much usable stuff from game night at the Smith house, but I tried to piece together something coherent from the 5 minutes worth we shot in the city that wasn't us making stupid faces or filming with the lens cap on.

As for our trip, it was a whirlwind, an awesome, spectacular whirlwind. We saw lots of people, ate four Christmas dinners in a row, enjoyed the company of both our families, and crammed in as much friend time as we all could stand. New Years was the best and we can't wait to see you all again soon.

I know this is short, sorry. But you know what they say: a picture is worth a thousand words. And since this video is 27 frames per second and clocks in at 1:10 I wrote you guys 1,890,000 words (plus these LITERAL words) for what Megan approximates as two thousand pages single spaced! (thanks for the math help Caleb) Enjoy.

I don't want to lose you tonight...

2007-12-16T12:03:00.001-06:00

I think you should all see this:

The short list

2007-12-16T07:57:00.000-06:00

-Marty's sister Hillary started a baby blog: http://www.ourwild.blogspot.com/
We hopes she keeps this up even after our first niece is born next month (!), as we will not get to see this little tyke very often (during the first few years of her life, anyway) being out here in England...

-Speaking of which, we shall be home very soon. I'm both excited and nervous. It's my first time back since the big move.

-The weekend is over and we did not Christmas shop at all, forcing us to either shop during the week or shop during the first few days while we're at home. Probably a little of both will happen. Eh. Sitting in restaurants and laying around on our couch together while watching The Wire the last few days was worth it.

Tuesday Surprise

2007-12-05T16:53:00.000-06:00

We had a surprise visit last night. Our friend Nate and his girlfriend Kate had dinner at our place before staying the night at the Potunkeys'. They had a stop over in London on a European trip. Marty and I were super excited to have them all over.
It was really great to see Luman and meet Kate, and it made us even more eager to get home to see the rest of the Chi-town gang!

Here we are after dinner. It was Nate's birthday, so Mendy brought noise-makers. Dave was missed.

This is Marty, annoyed at me for stopping the fun to preserve the moment. Haha.

Speaking of Rocking...

2007-11-29T16:38:00.000-06:00

Our new obsession is Guitar Hero for the Wii. Man, the Wii is cool. All the fancy-schmancy media people I'm talking to for my work are head over heals with what it's going to do to the gaming industry.

Anyway, that's my excuse for not posting this earlier. Here is our tentative schedule for our Christmas/ New Year's visit (yay!). The plane tickets are fixed, but the places we are could change depending on rides arrangements and stuff.

Dec. 21 Evening- Dec. 22: Chicago
Dec. 23-25: Rockford
Dec. 25-27: Plainfield
Dec. 27-Jan.2 Evening: Chicago

It's just two short weeks, but we hope to see everyone we can. If we haven't talked yet, email me about planning to hook up, please!

Giving Thanks for Rock

2007-11-24T06:28:00.000-06:00

In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving I'd resigned myself that we would not have a celebration. We'd tried to honor a few American holidays (most notably Halloween and July 4th in the last year) but I'd kind of come to the conclusion that it is more depressing to have a weak celebration than none at all. Plus I'm going through a phase in my immigration where I'm really trying to "go with the change" rather than hold on to the past. I'm making an effort to celebrate what I'm learning rather than think about what I'm missing.

I don't talk about my negative impressions of London with any kind of frankness except with Marty. I don't write about my negative immigration experiences on this blog because I don't want to distance myself from Londoners (whatever their nationalities) who love it here and I don't want Americans at home to think I'm whiny and don't appreciate the opportunity to live abroad. I've written countless blogs about stuff I've wanted to express to my friends who I never see, but have erased them because I'm unsure how people I care about will react to them. But I will say in defense of some of my negative feelings that I think it is easy to love a place for its differences when your time there has an expiration date, but harder to accept that you could be there forever and fear that you will lose the traditions that you could never know how much you would miss until there was a risk of never celebrating them again.

So by the end of last Thursday I'd read my friends' "I can't wait for the food and family!" Facebook status updates, realized that it had snowed back home, and been asked one too many times by my English co-workers to explain Thanksgiving to ignore it. Despite my plans for a greater assimilation undertaking , I was officially craving deviled eggs and baked yams topped with marshmallows and brown sugar. If I didn't try to have five kinds of pie that day, I knew I would regret it.

We found out The Hard Rock Cafe was serving a special Thanksgiving dinner "set menu" as they call it over here. It promised "Turkey dinner with all the trimmings." This is what we got:

A traditional dinner, it ain't. In fact it was the worst Thanksgiving dinner ever since everything was frozen or dehydrated at one point. The stuffing was British stuffing, which is actually mostly made of meat (what? ew.). I won't even mention what they tried to pass off as pumpkin pie. But at least it was way overpriced.

Also it was only one helping, which is not very Thanksgiving at all as the American readers will know. So we got the jumbo appetizer plate off of the usual Hard Rock menu before the pathetic attempt at an American dinner. The jumbo plate had an array of typical American chain restaurant starters. That part actually was delicious and comforting.

Since I was expecting no celebration at all, I was halfway satiated with our attempts at ritual. And now it seems as if the holiday season has started, even if it isn't really winter weather here. Anyway, we had fun with it because what are you gonna do... Sit around and cry? That wouldn't honor our forefather's sacrifices, would it? They were immigrants making a new life too, after all.

Would you like a free newspaper?

2007-11-18T03:52:00.000-06:00

First off, let me tell you something about London that, if you haven't lived here, you probably won't know. Instead of the streets being full of homeless people asking you for money it is teeming with immigrants giving away free newspapers (hell, even the real homeless are trying to sell journalism!). Right around commute time is the worst and you can't go more than a block without three people trying to stick a paper under your arm. Megan's strategy is to take the first paper offered and use it as a shield to bash away all other offers. I try to use Jedi mind tricks to let them know I'm not interested without using words... but usually end up just saying "no thanks"... or just "thanks."

I actually do like to have a London Paper, the better of the two trashy papers, with me on the bus ride home. Sometimes reading about Paris Hilton getting booed somewhere or 150 words about how to fix global warming is just what I need to fill a bus ride. Reading a little trash is fun, right? Who's it going to hurt?

It turns out it's hurting ME! On Tuesday I was on the bus home and looking to grab a used London Paper from one of the seats. I sat next to the paper I'd spotted (so I could pick it up as inconspicuously as possible) yawned to look around and made a swipe for it. I started skimming the page it had been opened to and was shocked to see words, thousands of them, all over the page. There was only one picture, reasonably sized in the center of the page, and it wasn't even a celebrity. I flipped to the cover page, but was shocked to discover that I was reading a section of a paper, the Guardian.

At first I was delighted. "Finally!" I thought, "I can read a real newspaper for once and get a little real news on the ride home." But as I flipped through the pages filled with stories who's titles whet my intellectual appetite I found myself unable to read more than few sentences before scanning for something new, AND part of me was even hoping the next story I found would be about who Brittany Spears had hit and ran from lately. I was crushed. When was my brain ruined? Where is my appetite for interesting stories?

In other news, Megan and I picked up Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii, and it is awesome. Megan finally found a game that she's motivated to play and it's cool watching her make huge strides in progress. I highly recommend this game to anyone who has a Wii. It is the total bomb.

And finally, I would like to acknowledge the irony in the fact that I can no longer read long stories, but I can only write long blogs. On a similar note if you notice any spelling errors near the end of this post please let me know in a short comment.

The Millenials?

2007-11-13T13:00:00.000-06:00

60 Minutes did a piece on our generation, the Millenials or Gen Y.

The link is here:
http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/i_video/main500251.shtml?id=3486473n

The piece is talking about the upcoming generation entering the workforce. The thesis is that young people have no work ethic. Original, CBS, real original. I'm not convinced that it is an accurate portrayal of our generation, and some of the points are pretty annoying.
Some of the points are pretty interesting, though. There's an interview with two men our age who make a living telling young people how to find jobs that fit them, and then fit into the job. A few of their points struck me. What do you guys think?

Vienna and America

2007-11-11T16:34:00.001-06:00

Well Marty had a fantastic time seeing everybody he could at home, and we send our best wishes to Brittany and Tom. I'm sorry I couldn't make it, but I dutifully grilled him on gossip from home and what it was like to set foot in the States for the first time since living abroad. Some things he noticed were that 1) it wasn't that weird to switch back to cars driving on the right side of the road 2) he had forgotten that waitresses can be nice 3) holiday decorations are nice. I was jealous he got to 1) see everybody, 2)watch TV on the television when it airs 3) eat American bacon and drink real coffee.
He said it was some parts were strange and some parts were nice and comfortable. I was really glad to hear that some people are still thinking of coming to visit us this year. It was another thing that made me feel more at peace and happy with our move over here. Marty said he was glad no one made a big deal that he was back. I guess that's nice and all, but guys, I want to have a party when I get back! :)

Anyway, I was in Vienna for the time Marty was gone. it was beautiful. It was for a business trip but I got to take a few days to wander around by myself. You know that famous scene where Hitler gave a speech to his people from the balcony? I totally saw that balcony and it was awesome. Also, I can cross "Visit homeland of the Californian Governor" off of my to do list.

These are the most interesting photos I took:

Pretty much every building had great bas reliefs. This is the Dept. of Agriculture building. All the windows had busts of a soldier with different expressions.

As I visit different European cities, I'm always struck by how many of them honor JFK.

Vienna is known for its sausages. The street vendors sell them in these crusty rolls that they stab on this big metal rod to create space for the sausage.

This was some graffiti on a public walkway.

While I was wandering I happened upon a theme park. Since it was raining and Sunday, the park was pretty much deserted. But all of the attendants were sitting, waiting for people to ride. Lights were flashing and the normal music was playing. It was creepy.

Grizwalds!

2007-10-26T16:25:00.001-05:00

Ok, we've been lazy bloggers. Sorry!
Right now Marty's on a plane back to Chicago for the first time in 13 months(!) for a wedding. I'm packing for my business trip to Vienna and watching the first season of Heroes. We both get back to London on Wednesday.

Last week my parents came to visit us, and it was a whirlwind trip. For their first time out of the country, they did outstanding. I'm proud of them! They started in Paris before met me and Marty in London. Then the five of us went to Conwy, Wales to see a castle built a thousand years ago and off to Dublin, Ireland. All in a week and a half. My parents were extremely generous and insisted on paying for hotels, transportation, and meals out for the five us even though Marty and my currency is worth twice as much as theirs.

It meant a lot to me to have them here--it's no secret that I feel pretty isolated over here in Europe. But now that they've seen where I live, it sort of makes me feel a little more at peace...if that makes any sense. It was really difficult for all of them to make it over here, each for their individual reasons. But they pulled together to see me and get to know Marty a little better, so... You can't beat that.

Here are some of the highlights:

The Fam in front of Parliament.

This is all of us in Wales.

Mom, Dad, Me, Marty on top of one of the Conwy castle's turrets.

A sign I liked in the botanical garden in Conwy.

My bro in front of the smallest house in Great Britain, in Conwy.

Marty and I thrilled to be on a tour bus in Dublin!

Me, bro, and hub in a Dublin restaurant.

Oh, it was Marty's birthday on Oct. 13. His mom kindly sent us American chocolate. My mom also brought Yankee chocolate, on my request. This is our stash a week ago. It, errm, isn't quite as plentiful now.

Picture of a camera. Deep.

The 'Rents and the British Museum in London.

Tyler, sipping a juice, staring at a shirtless boy and a dog.

The one day I wear my glasses

2007-10-02T14:03:00.000-05:00

So I was waiting for the bus home today talking to my mom on my cell. A bum--vagrant, if you will--walked up, beer in hand, and asked me for money. Normally I wouldn't be that perturbed, but I was on the phone and he was rudely persistent. Anyway so I looked at him and said "Please go away." That set him off into a string of slurs, one of them being "four-eyes." I had to laugh out loud.

Really, who says "four-eyes" anymore?

Two Weeks in Review

2007-09-29T16:44:00.000-05:00

It's been two weeks since our last post and we have been busy little beavers over here. I have a lot to get through so I'm just going to bullet point things in no particular order. It should be a blast!

~ First up, Tom Newman and Brittany Ballerini are getting married on Oct. 27th and I'll be in town for their wedding. If you want to see me, your best bet is going to be Monday. I'm only in town from Friday evening to Tuesday afternoon, and there's a wedding in there, but if any people want to try and meet up let me know (and maybe email me a phone number). I'm going to try to not sleep the entire time I'm out to maximize efficiency... we'll see how that goes.

~While I'm in Chicago for a wedding Megan will be in Vienna, Austria on bussiness. Unlike her Amsterdam and Japan trips, she has a weekend to enjoy the city. I'm going to make her take lots of pictures and teach me about it in a Microsoft PowerPoint presentation. PowerPoint is just the same, if not better than actually being there I hear.

~Also, Tom Gelsthorpe is getting married to Erin Lipitz (I hope I spelled the last name right Erin). They are aiming to tie the knot in march of '08. I'm excited to see my good friends marrying such quality people. It kinda gets me right here ya know?

~AND, Hafsa Mahmood (Huffy) and Baldy are getting married in June. I'd like to think maybe our getting married was inspiration. The most likely theory I have is that we're all just growing up. Make sure to water your Up twice a day!

~Megan and I were assaulted by five twelve year old black girls on our walk home. One took offense to me for some reason as we walked by and tried to trip me. I just walked on by and thought that was it... until one of them hurled their drink at me, hitting me in the arm. The drink didn't get on me, but I turned to face them with malice in my eyes. As they made "ooh" sounds laughed I was trying to plan the scenario where I beat the crap out of a twelve year old girl and don't look like an asshole. I failed to land on an acceptable plan of action and walked home, now preoccupied with all the shoulda-dones. What is an appropriate action when being harassed by twelve year old girls? Anyone?

~Megan and I went to go see Run, Fatboy Run today. It was a slightly better than average run-of-the-mill comedy, but the trip was notable for another reason. We arrived early to get decent seats (English people do not arrive for movies early, which irks me) and started munching our nachos during the previews. Finishing the nachos we set the cheesy plastic try on the ground and moved on to the popcorn. A couple arriving at the tail end of the previews were astonished that there were no seats for them. Megan and I had an open seat on both sides of us and we kindly moved over to let them sit together (how nice of us, right?). All was well and good until after the movie when the woman sitting in Megan's old seat reached down to pick up her jacket after the movie, only to find it freshly flavored. Awkward.

I know there are other tidbits to share, but I'm trying to keep my blogs to a more reasonable length. Hopefully we'll post a bit more often this week.

Bumping shoulders

2007-09-13T14:29:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my last post that I saw Andy MacDowell at the London Luton airport on the way to Amsterdam. She looked really normal waiting in line to exchange money. I first heard an American accent in the airport, and I usually look at any American when I overhear them and try to guess which region of the States they're from and to see if styles have changed, or any clue about what's going on at home these days. Anyway I heard her voice and was all set to judge her before realizing that she once did a movie with Bill Murray!

Amsterdam

2007-09-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

I went to Amsterdam this weekend. For work. I went to this conference where people were trying to sell their TV wares. The conference was really hard work so I'm exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. And I had to work the entire weekend, and only got today off in lieu. Travelling for work has its advantages and disadvantages. On the downside, my time wasn't my own for the last three days and I had to talk, talk, talk about nothing interesting for the whole time to people I don't really like. Today, our TV is broken so I'm listening to show after show of This American Life off of iTunes, which are interesting and entertaining but really only on as a noise filler to make me feel less lonely. I just really want to be hanging out with Marty instead, but he needs to work late all week and I was gone all weekend. Le sigh.

But I did get to see a little of Amsterdam this time. I got away with some co-workers on Saturday and walked around for a few hours. Wish I remembered my camera, but I actually didn't think I'd get a chance away from work to use it anyway. Amsterdam is much more beautiful than it gets credit for, at least the image it has is more of a drug town. But it also has really amazing architecture. Less expensive than other European cities. The canals that run through the city give it a really peaceful and unique feeling. Something I'd never heard before I moved to London, which turned out to be true once I saw it, is that Amsterdam has a great culture of biking. There are a ton of bikes everywhere, used by just about every type of person you can imagine. In London, people usually ride mountain bikes and less often road bikes. But in Amsterdam they all ride these upright "granny" bikes. I liked it a lot. I'm going to go back someday when my time is my own...

Happy Anniversary, Us!

2007-09-01T04:21:00.001-05:00

"Taco" or "Putting on the Ritz"

2007-08-30T16:30:00.000-05:00

I don't believe in fate or God, so as much as I want to say something about said entity or astral force smiling down on us today, I can't... because that would make me a hypocrite. But Megan and I did have quite a windfall this evening.

It all started on Monday, a holiday here in the UK. Megan and I were out and about on our local high street (think main street) grabbing some sun and coffee. As we walked up from the park to the Movie theater to catch Transformers (groan!) Megan stopped dead in her tracks.

"Oh. My. God. Do you see that?"

I started scanning the street with my poorly developed male sense of finding things, and say nothing. I faked like I knew with a, "heh, yeah," as I scrambled to find something that would cause Megan to stop the way she did. My response wasn't appropriate enough and she was on to me. Then I spotted a 3-4 year old kid, cute as you can make 'em, pushing a giant yellow-on-wheels mop bucket out the door of a local shop into heavy pedestrian traffic. "Ha! That's pretty dang cute," I said, sure that I had figured out the mystery.

Megan's face said, "fool, what's the matter with you?" Her mouth said, "That kid IS cute, but look at the place he came out of!"

"Oh. My. God."

It was a Mexican joint... in London... on our freaking doorstep! Mexican restaurants are a rare sight here. And in case our plea for visitors to bring us salsa verde wasn't a big enough clue, we miss it.

We walked in, met the owner and found out when they opened (which was today... like today as in when I posted this, not "today" when we talked to the dude). We quizzed him on the menu, learned a bit about the trials of starting a new business and shared our thoughts on all things burrito. He's an American and a really nice guy. We also met his British business partner. Both of them were really friendly and they gave us the first printed menu (collectors item!) that didn't even have the prices on it yet. We said we'd be back for the opening.

Fast forward to today, the opening. The food was great, the prices were great, and we met three new, fun Americans while we ate. Bryan and Stacey (hope I spelled that right) live in our neighborhood and are engaged. Megan and I were thinking we could take a guiding hand with them and teach them the ways of married life. We were also thinking we could make up a whole fake scenario of what married life is really like and try and convince them it was true. Only time will tell which we pick. And by time, I mean no one! HHAhaahahaaahahaaa!

The other person we met was Kristain. She has a food blog and will be a valuable asset for finding the most delicious things to eat in this big dirty town. She's also quite nice and fun to talk to.

It was a great time. Who would have ever thought that it would be Mexico that unites Americans in London? All I'm saying is you don't get that kind of camaraderie in a hamburger joint.

A Rich Man Decides...

2007-08-26T07:22:00.000-05:00

...to strand me on a desert island. He says I get a solar powered CD player and just ten CDs to last me until I'm dead or rescued. This is a list of what my load out would be.

Besides The Rich Man's condition, I have a few self-imposed rules. I didn't allow myself to pick greatest hits albums. Even though picking greatest hit's albums would help condense the song quality, it would wash out the character of individual albums and make this blog way too boring. I might do a best greatest hits albums at a later date (he says as he squints and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose). I also won't allow myself to pick more than one CD by the same artist. I can't say exactly why, but I can't let myself make a top 10 list and include two things by the same artist/director. My loss I guess.

Without further ado, the list.

10) The Postal Service - Give Up

This album is the perfect blend of grooving electronic beats that make you want to dance ever-so-subtle dance moves, with a generous helping bittersweet and well crafted lyrics. When I want to listen to an upbeat, danceable song about surviving a nuclear holocaust this is the album I grab. While stranded on the island this is what I'd listen to when I wanted to bask in the ridiculousness of the scenario.

9) The Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin

A great album from start to finish, both from an individual song perspective and taken as a whole. "Waiting for Superman" would be a goto track for the times I wanted to bask in the futility of life and the cruelty of false hope. It was a close call between this and Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, but I'm stranded on a desert island, not in a dystopian future, so The Soft Bulletin seemed more appropriate.

8) Kanye West - The College Dropout

I love this CD. When I was flat broke, slinging coffee at Starbuck's "We Don't Care" made me feel better about my craptastic life. I'm pretty sure I don't have to say too much about this album since I'm pretty sure everyone's heard of it. This would be for those eff-the-world-I-love-being-on-a-desert-island days. While Late Registration was great as well, and the tracks I've heard from the new album sound great, this one has been with me longer and I know it has the staying to last until death/rescue. Hell, I even like the skits!

7) Kid Koala - Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

I am a big Kid Koala fan. He's one of those artists that makes me think, "if I had the ability to make this kind of music, this is exactly what I would have made." Having a kid koala CD with me would be the closest I could get to having a clone of myself on the island. A bit offtopic, but a clone of yourself is really the best company for a deserted island. You share the same interests and if times ever get hard and one of you has to eat the other at least one of you still survives.

6) The Velvet Underground & Nico - Self-titled

For rock and Roll lovers, this is the first real "no duh" entry on the list. This album is just distilled awesomeness. If you haven't listened to it, do it now... I'll wait for you to get back. Great wasn't it? Also, if the island I end up on has psychedelic frogs I can lick, I assume this album would go up a slot or two.

5) Hot Chip - Coming on Strong

Mellow, dancable, lyrically brilliant, quirky, fun and wicked radical, Hot Chips debut LP is all of the above. When I first got it into iTunes the entire CD rocketed to the top of our 25 Most Played list. The best part is that Hot Chip occupies a musical corner all by themselves and I don't have to worry about it overlapping with the rest of the list. The CD would be for those warm island nights when my animal friends came by unexpectedly and were in a party mood, but we didn't want to go out anywhere.

4) Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below

This is the first entry that might be considered cheating by The Rich Man. If forced to choose either Speakerboxxx or The Love Below I think I'd have to dump it from the list and pick something else. The two albums together are a perfect blend of yin and yang (not to be confused with the horrific Ying Yang Twins). The real reason this makes the list and is so high up is because this album is the utility infielder of the group. It can fill the chilled R&B vibe or step up into the rap position and hold it's own. I can't think of another album that does this range of music so consistently well.

3) The Magnetic Fields - 69 Love Songs

I'm cheating a bit again with this triple CD. But despite the extreme length of this album, this in not just a play for more quantity. I love this triple CD from the first track to the last. The music is diverse, but all of it is quality. If you haven't heard it, get it now and give it a shot. There's no way I can describe all of the vibes and grooves from the 69 song collection, but they are all catchy and lyrically sweet-ass. This would be another utility player in the island collection, being something I could spend an afternoon listening to, or as a toolbox of songs that I can pull the music the moment demands from.

2) Beck - Midnight Vultures

It pained me to restrict myself to only one Beck CD. Mellow Gold was the first CD I ever bought, and I like everything he's ever done. Yeah, everything. I picked Midnight Vultures because I thin kit would do the best job of staving off depression. Also in a desert island situation robot sex might become easier to relate too, actually making a good 50% of the songs better as time went on. I also might be able to find things on the island that made annoying noises that I could play along to the CD with. Seriously though, great CD.

1) The Zombies - Odessey & Oracle

This Album is the best rock album to come out of the 60s. This is another one that might be a "no duh" for rock fans. It is like awesomeness congealed into a lump of vinyl and The Zombies pressed it into this beauty of a record. If the amazing music wasn't enough, "This Will Be Our Year" is Megan and my song, and if there's one thing I'm going to miss during my stint on the desert island it's her. I don't want to taint a good rock and roll list with some super mushy love stuff, but this was an easy pick for #1 for a good reason.

That's the list. I kinda wanted to bring a Weezer CD, but I can't spend a whole CD for 25 minutes worth of music. The Brain Candy Soundtrack almost made it, but as the lone compilation it made the list as a whole lot weaker I think.

I miss my bike today

2007-08-22T17:25:00.001-05:00

No reason in particular, just do.

Travelers

2007-08-20T16:13:00.000-05:00

We had a weekend of visitors. First, our friend Kevin Rooney came to stay . We know Kevin through various UIC connections, but mostly because he used to date my roommate Janice, and thus was a half roommate of mine himself. Kevin saved up several thousands of dollars and decided to quit his job and burn it all on a trip around Europe. Money well spent, I say. We went out on the town Friday and then he stayed on our couch on Saturday until he met up with the Lomo y Queso crew in the suburbs. I took this photo as evidence of his passing through.

Then on Saturday evening, we met up with my high school friend Britt. Britt and I were attached at the hip sophomore and part of junior year when we ran cross country for the Auburn Knights. That summer we saw Austin Powers in the theater 22 times. Speaking of comedy, when it was time to leave we both instinctively handed our cameras to our respective men folk and then proceeded to look at different cameras for each picture. We have six pictures. In none of them are we looking at the same camera. This last picture is evidence of that.

Some pictures of Paris ...and us in it

2007-08-07T16:47:00.000-05:00

We thought you all might appreciate some photos of our trip in addition to the Kate Moss, Pete Doherty fun.

The elusive Janice

2007-08-07T14:08:00.000-05:00

Will somebody kick Janice (or text) and tell her to respond to my email about our landlord? Thanks, Megan

Also, Marty and I joined in the fun with a response to Lomo y Queso's latest musical post. As you can see we've changed a lot since we've been here. Marty's become a dirty, unkempt rocker and I'm a strung-out supermodel. You never know what a new environment'll do to a person.

long-term planning is for the birds

2007-08-03T09:13:00.000-05:00

We're off to Paris this weekend. I'm forcing Marty to get out of the UK before we have to hand over our passports (again!) next week because our visas must be renewed. Marty cannot have moved all the way over to Europe and not have gotten out of the UK for a whole year. Not on my watch. Hard to believe that we have been here a year already, isn't it?

We booked train tickets at 11 p.m. last night and packed this morning with out any thought to what we are going to do when we reach our destination. We arrive in Paris at midnight Friday and leave late Sunday. I have the luxury of taking Monday off as my boss has been not so subtly hinting that I have to use up the month of vacation time left in my allotted annual leave. Who takes that much vacation? Jeesh.

Anyway, a blog on the European mentality on holidays later. Now I'm off to buy a French to English phrase book so I can hopefully avoid scowls from snobby Parisians who think their language is the only language that should be spoken in the world. Maybe I'll learn to say "Get over it" in French. haha. Oh, I kill me!

Colin, you are our puppet master

2007-07-22T10:03:00.001-05:00

Pictures this time, as requested.

This weekend was pretty good. We didn't do anything particularly special, but Marty and I were talking about it this morning and it dawned on us that that was the reason it was good. It was a kind of comfort we hadn't felt since we got here. There are a lot of pressures when you move to a new country and culture, and it felt like those weren't there in the last few days.

Friday we went to Potunky's new flat. It's in a great area with lots of places to shop and eat, pretty much across the street from the London Zoo. Pretty sweet. We went to the top of this hill near there place, Primerose Hill, where you can look over the city of London. Sorry, we didn't bring our camera. Even if we did, I don't think the picture would do it justice.

Then on Saturday we went to replace my lost wedding ring. We intended to do that last weekend, but ended up going to the Zoo and watching both seasons of How I Met Your Mother instead. The zoo was way more fun. But I'll get a new ring in two weeks, and that will be one more chore off the list. The ring is pretty sweet though, and it totally fits which is a big plus. Anyway, we brought the camera with us to appease Colin, (God, Colin!) We forgot to take pictures while we shopped for a ring, but we remembered just in time for our disgusting trip to nostaligic American chain Chili's. We ordered way too much, and almost threw up because we ordered too much grossness, as rendered below.
Then we hung out with my workmate Rufus and rocked Islington hard core. Ughg. Waddup.

2007-07-15T16:45:00.000-05:00

Sunday night. Time to blog.

Ok. Kareoke was actually a lot of fun. I pledged that I wasn't going to sing into the mic but got into it pretty much immediately. As soon as I realized that everyone was into making a fool of themselves. Then afterwards we went to a pretty good pulled pork sandwich shop where, get this, they were playing the Cubs game! And I felt comforted by the surroundings.

Speaking of which, I may finally get my passport back this week, now that the legal fees are all paid off. Getting the passport depends on if either one of us can find time to get to the lawyers during working hours. Wish us luck.

I should be working on articles for work, but I'm not. Marty is blowing up imaginary knights on some videogame.

Quick update

2007-07-11T15:04:00.000-05:00

In our bid to write every week, some posts from now on might be a bit rushed. We're busy and hectic, but we don't want to drop of the face of the earth to people who matter most: You folks back home. So here's a quick update on what MegaMart is up to:

*Walk to work to avoid terrorist -plagued public transportation.
*Work, Work, Work.
*Big Brother in the evenings.
*Sleep.
*Possibly Karaoke-ing this weekend. Karaoke equals my worst fears and Marty's dreams come true. So we compromised by... oh wait no compromise. Marty's dragging me along. Kill me now.

High Flyin' Flag

2007-07-04T11:54:00.000-05:00

Happy Fourth Americanos!

Us, we're alone in our patriotism... but that won't keep us down. Eat an extra dog and burger for us.

God Bless the U.S. of A.! Whoo!

Business as Usual

2007-07-01T16:47:00.000-05:00

I heard about the two London bomb scares at work. I was so busy that I couldn't be bothered to think about it for more than a second. The shortest day I worked this week was 10 hours, and I wasn't going to let the news distract me from my deadlines. People were making jokes about it during lunchtime, but other than that everyone else had their heads down working too. Marty, also busy at work, had not heard about it until I told him when he got home late night.

I guess the weirdest thing about it is that we aren't worried at all. It's also kind of weird that they found the bombs. Those must have been half-assed terrorists, so that kind of makes me feel a little better.

I got some new sneakers this weekend. Buying shoes here has been difficult because they don't carry half sizes and I happen to be a half size. But I had to power through sale weekend on Oxford Street because my old sneakers were so embarrassing that I will throw them away immediately. Marty and I did our budget and we agreed to spend less on take-out food and more on our clothing. I bought some new T-shirts a few weekends ago because I literally did not half any summer clothing that was less than five years old. Mega-Mart is set for some remodeling, so get ready folks.

Speaking of shoes I've been walking to and from work every day this and it has been awesome. It is so much easier to sit at a desk all day if you have either come from a long walk or you know you'll be able to rock out on your iPod as soon as you finish that one last story. Otherwise, it's pretty hard, ya know?

At 11 p.m. on Sunday night we are not tired. So we're staying up and watching the boxset of24 season two that we found in a used dvd shop for £16! A steal. We're also eating apples and peanut butter because what could possibly be better than fresh fruits and veg and great TV? Nothing.

**Update: Uhh, more dangerous crazies in the UK. Hmm. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/sns-ap-britain-airport-crash,1,7170384.story?coll=chi-news-hed

Here's Your Flipping Substance!

2007-06-27T17:31:00.000-05:00

Meg and I are busy as can be these days. Work, Wii, and weekends at the park are filling our time up more than sufficiently. Work has been taking the lions share though. Summer in England means that the entire country is on their month holiday and the bulk of the work in this country has fallen onto Megan and my back. Luckily the surge of Polish immigrants means we can still take weekends off, but our cell phones are always on.

But enough about us, lets talk about you.

Mega-Mart has been a little quiet of late, but it seems like our whole blogmunity (as in blog community, not blog immunity) has gotten quieter. Here are some guesses as to why... please feel free to correct any inaccuracies.

Colin, though he still posts frequently, has not been posting as much as he would normally do during a presidential primary. Is it because his new roommate Ryan is sedating him by pumping him full of gourmet food (under the guise of "friendship") to secretly fatten him up, kill him, and serve Minced Colin to a hungry bunch of haughty gallery goers at the next Jasper Johns exhibition?!? My sources say yes.

Sir Henry Oglepants can't reach the keyboard from the corner of weirdness he's painted himself into. He tries to cough phlegm into his hand and shape it into letters and words to save for later... but, always the giddy one, he highfives himself after a clever punchline. All progress is lost in the sound of two hands clapping.

Janice's Random Thought Jar is slowly filling itself again, and I imagine that someone should be getting a 3 page comment from her any day now.

Martha, being a poetess now, has outgrown blogs. She now finds the internet (and the entire electronic landscape) to be "plebeian." In fact, to her reading prose is, "like listening to a dog bark at the pantry door because it's hungry." Her words. She has left our blogmunity to scrape eternal truths into birch bark, and looks back only fake a smug, inward smile. But, I could say anything in this paragraph. She'd never read it. It starts with a capitol letter, is left-justified and ends with a period.

Cassie and Caleb haven't posted in a while because they're still dealing with how easy and tension free life became once they finally gave in to their secret passions for each other. No one blogs about relationships any more, so I have guess. Am I right?

Seriously though, we miss all ya'll. We were going to make some calls last weekend to chat up you yahoos, but we don't have current numbers any more. Email 'em to us and we'll call you. Seriously.

-Mega-Mart

Totally BA

2007-06-18T15:45:00.000-05:00

Pop question: Who is the bigger bad ass on TV?

Sayid Jarrah from Lost.
Mission: To get his crew off of a deserted island, using violence against evildoers if necessary
Past: Member of the Iraqi Army (left for moral reasons so he could be relatable to an American TV audience)
Most Bad Ass moment: Snapping the neck of his captor with his ankles while his hands were still tied behind his back. Totally Wicked.
Whiniest lovie dovey moment: Weeping (having a tantrum) over his lover who was shot in front of him, and then torturing the person he thought was responsible for his death.
Quote: YOU WOULD REMEMBAH!!!!

Jack Bauer from 24 Season 1
Mission: To protect his wife and daughter, and country. Can you get any more Every Man that that?
Past: Involved in a botched mission to kill a Serbian genocidal tyrant.
Most Bad Ass moment: While being tortured and tied to a wooden chair, he kills a man by biting his neck. Then he uses the chair to kill the rest of the captors.
Whiniest lovie dovey moment: After a high speed car chase and while hiding out from cops with drawn guns: Oh wifey, I love you. I'm sorry I haven't I haven't been there for you, I was busy saving the world. I'll be there for you now.
Quote: My wife and daughter were kidnapped. I need to talk to the genecidal maniac now!

What we look like these days

2007-05-22T17:37:00.000-05:00

I stole these from a friend on Facebook. I've recently joined that newfangled site, so add me as a friend if you haven't already. Anyway, when I joined, I found my pal had already posted pictures of us on there! It's kind of weird finding out that there are pictures of you on the internet without you knowing. Obviously I wasn't that upset because I'm sharing them with you now. Great story, Megan. Sigh.

Spiders and Zombies

2007-05-12T18:05:00.000-05:00

Megan and I have been staying on top of new movie releases the past few weeks. We went to Spider-Man 3 last Friday, and just got out of 28 Weeks Later. While we don't do many reviews we thought we'd toss out our thoughts on this recent deluge of sequels.

Spiderman 3
If you liked the first two movies you'll probably have to watch this one for completeness, but this trilogy does not end on it's highest note. I'm pretty sure Sam Raimi was thinking this was his last Spider-Man flick and wanted to cram in every villain and plot line that he loved when reading the comics. The result is a movie that bit off too much story to tell in the time allotted. There are some great parts though. My favorites were watching the evil and suave Peter Parker disco down the street and seeing Bruce Campbell as a snooty French concierge in a very classically Raimi scene. The lowest point had to be the ending, which was the lamest cryfest I've ever seen. Mary Jane is crying. Spider-Man is crying. Green Goblin 2 is crying. Even the freaking Sandman is crying. He's made of freaking sand, how can he cry? What are his tears made of? Anyway, we walked away feeling like something had happened that was expensive and kind of enjoyable.

28 Weeks Later
This movie was great. It opens with one man's story of how he survived the outbreak from the first movie. He's holed in a small cottage with his wife and about five other people, surviving on canned food. There is a knock at the door and they let in a haggard little boy. He talks about running from his parent and a horde of the infected, and the pounding on the wall lets us know he was followed. The house is ransacked and the husband and wife are upstairs with the new kid. The zombies rush in and we see the husband shut the door on his wife and run for it. Roll opening credits. Whoa.

What I really want to do is retell the whole movie to you guys, but I won't spoil it. The film follows the American led reconstruction of England. The movie makes some comments on the Iraqi war, but it doesn't preach or editorialize. I don't want to spoil it but there's one scene that captures the whole situation so perfectly... I wish I could just give it all away, but I won't.

The moral of the story is, go see this movie so I can talk to you all about it.

Mega-Mart is having a comment sale!

2007-05-10T16:53:00.000-05:00

So make some today!

Here are some things that are funny:

TIME: Then and Now
I really wish we blogged more than once weekly, but it just seems like the days are half as long as they used to be when I was younger. Part of me wants to make a mathematical formula for how long days seem in relation to our age, and another equation for how long a month seems to take on the same axis.

As a kid, I remember the endless stretches between weekly allowances. The day I actually got my ten bucks must have been at least sixty hour long. I'd have the first half of Friday to sit in school and think of all the things I could do with that tenner. Then I'd get it, and spend the second half of eternity waiting for an adult to take me anywhere I could do any of the things I'd thought of. Weekends were always too short back then too. Part of it was because I wanted to fit everything in to each one, and was disappointed that I couldn't. The other part was always saying, "the weekend is just too short," because I was young and knew, even then, that it was easy, amiable conversation.

Now though, it all seems to blur together. The weeks swim by faster than I can imagine up things to fill them with. I think of ten dollars as merely two lunches now, and I feel like I got to buy more frivolous fluff when I was broke. The weekends are still too short, but at least now they fit in with the rest of the week proportionately. I'm positive that Megan and I do more now, but our thirst for activity has grown much faster than our free time, so it seems like we do less.

And why exactly is this funny? Because people think of time as something absolute and scientific. How is it that today was eaten so quickly for me, but lingers too long to someone else? I could give a great analogy about the length of a meter-stick to an outside observer at near light speed, but relativity is not easy to explain. My philosophical side (that I don't let out as much as I should) wonders if maybe we do move through the same day 'faster' at times. Perhaps our perception of a day going quickly is just our grasp of how hastily we moved through it. Half-sequiter: Did you know that time zones weren't established formally by congress until 1918? Check out this wikipedia link because it's interesting the things we take for granted.

SPACE: Location is Everything
Good news, Megan's VISA situation was resolved swiftly and in our favor. To those who weren't aware, when Megan's passport was stolen she got a new one issued, but didn't have time to get her VISA put in before traveling for work. The passport official, on her return, wouldn't let her get her documentation that she'd left in her bag and stamped her passport with a one week VISA which, unknown to her, voided her VISA to live and work here. The week expired and we didn't even know to be worried yet. Megan started to call around and found out that she was now officially an 'overstay' and could be deported if someone got huffy about it. We hired a lawyer, and had been waiting nervously for the results. But it all worked out in the end and we're all gtg over here.

Why is this funny? Because why is this even an issue? Somebody gave Megan a year long VISA. She had it. I saw it. Why couldn't some 6.50 an hour lackey look up her name and passport number in a machine and say, "right, here you go," and be done with it? And if you think the time ranges you get from the cable installation guy are bad, peep this: One of our options was to have Megan fly back to Chicago (because you can only apply for a VISA in a foreign country) and reapply. They said she'd either get her VISA that day or in six friggen months. Sign me up for that great plan. (deep-breaths.. relax) But it's over and we're excitedly planning a trip to Rome in the near future.

Well, none of this was really 'ha ha' funny, but my friends will tell you that I often fail to make people laugh. So... no big deal really.

Conglomerate Blog

2007-05-03T16:35:00.000-05:00

I had a few ideas for blogs and thought I might just combine them into one super-blog.

First up: Fight!

On the bus ride back from the one decent Mexican restaurant in all of London two skinny hooded blokes started thwacking each other with fisticuffs! Megan and I were on seats that faced the back of the bus and watched as the two man-boys tumbled into the aisle and ended up brawling on the two seats that faced ours. I had considered moving away when the fight had first started (probably because Megan was saying, "I think we should move."), but once the two ruffians were right next to us the window to move had passed. I mean, if I stood up from my seat right next to the rowdy pair and walked away my cowardice would be out there for the whole bus of strangers to see. Instead I decided to pretend to still be dumbstruck despite the fact that the tussle had been going on for about half a minute. Since Megan was in the window seat I made her decision for her.

And speaking of dumbstruck, and I swear to god this is true, the fight was broken up by a mute. He meeped at the two angry men as he pulled them apart, looking each one in the face and giving them a forceful, stop-it "meep." It ranks in my top ten most emasculating moments.. an elite list to say the least.

Part two: DH Follow-up

Megan and I purchased season two of Desperate Housewives, partly because we wanted to and partly as a kind of gloating "see how much we love it?" to the nay-sayers. We're only 2 discs in, but so far it seems like they're sophomore jinxing this season. The odd twists are laid on top of the normal suburban life a bit too thick and deliberately. I still stand by DH as a good show, but I have yet to see the season one magic recreated.

Part Three: I finished East of Eden

Megan and I have started reading books. I've been on an American author kick, reading Twain's Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, and now John Steinbeck's East of Eden. I was a little leery of Steinbeck after Grapes of Wrath ruined a large chunk of English class my junior year. Of Mice and Men was great, so this book was going to be the deciding factor for ol' J. Steiny. Luckily, IT ROCKED!!!!!

First off, I love stories set in or around the American industrial revolution. If it could be said that I romanticise any period of history, it would be this one. And Steinbeck romanticizes it almost as much as I do. The book was just a great read and ranks as one of my all time favorites. I highly recommend this to all of you.

Part Four: Picnic Weekend

We met up with some of Megan's workmates and had a great weekend in the park. There was a British attempt at a barbecue, and with a few hot dogs and steaks from us it came together well (there was also chicken, sausage and fish that other people brought, but they're not writing this so.. ha). I got to meet Rufus for the first time. He is one of Megan's coworkers and he has recently become enamored with saying everything in a yo-my-name's-Vinny-and-I'm-from-Brooklyn New York accent. Megan was rolling 'em in the aisles with her terrible British accent too. Conversations went like this:
"Eyy, my brudda called from Brooklyn."
"Would you like a cup-a-teeea?"
"I'll break yor eess!"
"Sweep yer chimney, gov'nah?"
"Fahgit about it! Youu friggen jaggoff!"
It was an enlightening day of cultural learning for both sides of the pond, indeed.

-Mega-Mart

Desperate Throwdown!

2007-04-26T16:49:00.000-05:00

Hokay, so. Last blog I posted all kinds of cool links to great media and lists of interesting stuff, but all the Mega-Mart regulars hopped on the back of the number 2 selection for the Best TV List, Desperate Housewives, and started kidney punching like there was no tomorrow. The remainder of this blog will be directed at the offending parties, but feel free to take it personally.

Note: I am not responsible for things said in "rant-mode," and you know that I have nothing but love.

Now first of all, lets lay it out there. You have made some uninformed judgments about a show that, frankly, scares the crap out of you.

When The O.C. came out we let ourselves be persuaded by favorable criticism to delve into the teen drama genre, though we were a bit too old. The writing was solid and fresh and elevated the show out of it's target age group and made it something the 18-35 group could munch on. I could write another essay about how this demographic change it what held the show up, stagnated it in season three and lead to it's death, but I'm lambasting you cats now, so maybe another day.

Now enter Desperate Housewives. The writing is stupendous and has elevated this show from what could have been an adults 30-55 daytime soap-opera to being the number one show for all adults 18-49. I think you can't handle the fact that people older than us watch it because that means you have to lump yourselves in with them. Sure, it's "OK" when you want to dip into a high school drama, then you can guiltily admit to your peers that you are youthful and into young culture and music. But may God strike you blind if your mom might watch the same show as you. Run for your ironically mulletted, skinny-pants-below-their-balls hipster friends and spark one to how lame the conformists who watch THAT monstrosity of adult programming must hypothetically be.

Just "F.Y.I" Desperate Housewives is one of the few shows I've watched that keeps me wondering, "What's going to happen next?" And I'm not talking about the manufactured, intentionally ambiguous, long stalling way Lost keeps you guessing either. Desperate Housewives weaves stories with satisfying, elaborate arcs and morally ambiguous characters. Do you want the spoiled rich girl to leave her husband and wealth for the just-barely-18 year old garden boy she's found a twinge of real love with? or stay with her loving, but controlling, and slightly emotionally abusive husband? There is no obvious winner there that you instantly root for and wait for the writers to weave you to. Instead I found myself considering the choice and how each side would play out as it unfolded, anticipating the moment the writers would pick a path and I'd see how well I had predicted or what detail I had failed to remember.

So, go do yourself a favor and rent the first season on DVD and sit and watch the first disc. And don't watch it in that way you say sorry to your sister after getting busted by your parents for stealing your own CDs back. Just clear your head, watch and enjoy.

I can't believe I made it to the end of this without making fun of the Counting Crows once. I even planned to do it, but I just didn't have enough time to work it in. Oh, and... You have been served!

A Crapload of Lists

2007-04-21T11:02:00.000-05:00

Hey Mega-Mart shoppers. We've made it to spring and I think we're finally starting to shake off some of the cobwebs of winter complacency and get our brain juices flowing again. This time of year I always feel like that storied ancient computer hidden deep underground or lost in the depths of a jungle temple somewhere. It's the one that hapless adventurers stumble into, marveling about how something this complex and modern could be so ancient. Right about now in the year I feel like the moment that the ancient circuits hum to life, scaring the crap out of the people who's actions inadvertently reactivated the system. And every year I'm excited to know whether the computer activates an ancient spacecraft that will take the story to distant amazing planets, or will it start a doomsday sequence that requires us to push a stupid button every 108 minutes.

So, to kick off the onset of good whenther I'm going to give all of you some lists to read use rate and respond to. Without further ado, here are some factual compilations of what is better than what:

TOP 5 SONGS OF RIGHT NOW (as in the last 5 minutes)
5)Dashboard - Modest Mouse -- It's new, but the record sounds great and the single delivers.
4)Hi - Psapp -- We got this because Deerhoof mentioned it and it is delicious.
3)Satellite of Love - Lou Reed -- If you don't feel emotion when you listen to this you are a robot, sorry to be the one to tell you.
2)Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's theme - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles -- I always thought this song was cool, but rude.
1)Acceptable in the 80s - Calvin Harris -- It's trash, but after the radio played it 100 times I chose to listen the 101st.

TOP 5 TV SHOWS
5)Lost -- We're still watching, though sometimes we wonder why. Good twists are buffered by long, deliberate stalls, but at this point we are pot committed.
4) The O.C. -- officially over in the states and ending here this week, the last season of The O.C. made me wish it wasn't leaving. Muck respect to the Cohen's, R.I.P.
3)How I Met Your Mother -- A surprisingly good comedy. Neil Patrick Harris shows he's got great comedy timing and the veteran cast does the well written scripts justice.
2)Desperate Housewives -- I got megan season 1 for her b-day, and finally got a chance to really watch it. Best written show I've seen in a long long time.
1) Peep Show -- This is the best show we've seen in a while. Imagine Larry David and Ashton Kutcher living together.. but 100 times better!

TOP 5 BUTTONS ON THE KEYBOARD
5) [4]
4) [m]
3) [tab]
2) [ctrl]
1) [space bar]

TOP 5 RECENT MEGA-MART MOMENTS
5) We book tickets to Modest Mouse and Deerhoof shows.
4) We get news that Sarah will be here on Monday and Tuesday to visit us.
3) We discover Peep Show on demand.
2) A relaxing Easter weekend with Potunkey and co.
1) Megan scoops the competition at work during the equivalent of sweeps week.

Here's hoping you feel like an ancient computer humming to life now too.

-Mega-Mart

Cheapo Transatlantic flights coming

2007-04-18T13:10:00.000-05:00

Exciting news for us and for whoever wants to come and visit the Mega-Mart in person.

Right now it looks like Marty and I will be here for years--like maybe three, four, even five?--now that we both have secure jobs that we enjoy. More importantly, the goal of saving up for a nest egg to come back with is looking farther and farther away. Because of some painfully expensive and urgent surprises this month, we had to overdraw both bank accounts (UK and US) this week. As soon as we get paid Saturday, we'll be fine again for day to day expenses, but point is, it's going to take a lot longer than we thought to save up to come back to the States. Sad, really. I sorely miss going to parties and impromptu hang-outs with old friends.

I'd pretty much give my least useful limb--you know, the left arm--to go home for a visit. Here's something that is making me happy these days. A new law is set to be signed in Washington this month that will open up the historically restricted transatlantic flight route, meaning more competition and thus cheaper flights. Below is an Irish airline that is saying it is ready to jump on the band wagon and offer flights between US and Europe for $24 round trip! The law doesn't take affect until next year, but it would be sweet if all the talk of cheap flights comes true while we are still here. Now we just need to get time from work...

Ryanair’s O’Leary may launch E.U.-U.S. airline

Michael O’Leary, CEO of Dublin-based Ryanair Holdings Plc, may start a no-frills transatlantic airline once the U.S.-E.U. “open skies” agreement takes effect next March, according to Bloomberg News.

Dublin-based Ryanair, which operates routes within Europe, plans to double its service by 2012, O’Leary noted. “By mid-2009, we will be carrying 70 million passengers at 23 bases across Europe,” he told Flight International magazine. “It will be relatively straightforward for us to do a deal for 40 to 50 long-haul aircraft and connect these bases transatlantically,” charging fares as low as $12 one-way.

The new carrier would serve five or six secondary U.S. airports, such as Baltimore, T.F. Green Airport and Long Island’s Islip Macarthur, the magazine said. But don’t hold your breath. Though the idea is “a possibility,” airline spokesman Peter Sherrard told Bloomberg today, “there would be a three- or four-year timeframe, and it would be completely separate to Ryanair.”

Other low-fare carriers also are considering dipping into the transatlantic market, Bloomberg said. Canada’s Zoom Airlines, controlled by Scottish entrepreneur Hugh Boyle, yesterday said it will introduce transatlantic flights for $255 and up, starting June 21. And U.K.-based BMI said last month that it “expects to announce shortly details of its first USA service from Heathrow.”

Stonehenge

2007-04-14T08:23:00.000-05:00

We went to Stonehenge last weekend with the Potunkey crew. We were hosted to a delicious Easter dinner by Pop Potunkey, Dave's dad.

Here are the pics of Stonehenge:

Then, the next day we went to the coast, which is in the other direction from Pop Potunkey's house. The thing about living in a tiny island country is that you can go to the ocean whenever you want. Not as good as having a Lake right in your own city with 37 beaches throughout, but nice just the same.

London Laughs

2007-03-28T03:13:00.000-05:00

Although we miss the rest of the Smith fam, (Hillary and Kacie and their other halves ), we are all having a good time here in London-town. Above big brother Marty is taking a pic of Kait and Al in front of the Parliament.

Marty is called the Director of his company's (one man) branch in London, but his dad still takes his picture like it's the first day of school. Some things never change. :)

Oh yeah, and a street performer took a liking to youngest sister Allison. We may never see her again.

Welcome Smiths!

2007-03-24T09:26:00.000-05:00

The Smiths made it here, after minor delays. They asked us what we wanted from home, and I said the Sears Tower. They did good. :)

They're in our living room feeling well jetlagged, so pictures of them will follow in coming days. Marty and I took the week off to see the sights with the fam.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!VIVACIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-22T18:04:00.000-05:00

It's Megan's Birthday today, so I thought I'd make a post for all of you fools to consolidate your greetings. I ask that in your birthday wishes you all use astounding amounts of exclamation points and use the word "vivacious" at least once. I'll rate all your comments and choose a winner in a few days so make 'em good.

A quick one while she's away

2007-03-15T20:34:00.000-05:00

Megan and I have not been blogging as much as we should be. It's not that nothing is happening, we just don't have time (in between power watching felicity DVDs) to do it. But to make up for it, here is an entry for the curious loving people that shop at Mega-Mart... IN LIST FORM! go! go! go! go!
{{ROGER MISSION CONTROL, THIS IS BULLDOG, INITIATING THE SEQUENCE}}
<<..skkk...blow their socks off Bulldog>>

10. We Got Couches
We blogged the build up, and skipped the pay off. Well for those of you biting your nails about it, we did manage to secure seating for our living area. The Potunky peeps saw them and were pleased or they are very good at being polite. Either way Megan and I bought furniture together, which makes our marriage seem more permanent. I guess you realize your really together when there's something you'd have to fight for in court if you broke up. Awwww.

9. Megan's purse was snatched (non-confrontationally)
From right under her nose! But gypsies are tricky folk and get to run crime rings in local pubs and eateries for some reason. It happened the night before we were supposed to get and pay for the couches, and Megan had the credit card. Thank god there was enough in the other account to cover it (barely). The whole rub of it was Megan was going in to get an insurance number for taxes and had all her IDs and proofs of self with her in her bag. It was the first time her passport had been out of the apartment since we got here. It must have seen it's chance and made a break for freedom. We got everyhting canceled and replaced with minimal damage, but this stirred the pot for a couple more good stories too.

8. I define Megan
Since she had no IDs and needed a passport I had to go to the American Embassy and vouch for her. To all the women's libbers out there: My wife would be a nobody if it wasn't for me. This would have been a short post about the irony of the situation in a hyper-sensitive, post-femminist society. I would have talked about how being there made me know that we do not define ourselves, but live the life others define for us. And also how stupidly ridiculous it is to claim we have security on our borders if Megan got a passport because someone she brought in said she should. It would have been a great blog, but it would have been trumped by the next thing.

7. His drummer has eurithmia
While waiting in lines (they are queues outside the embassy) we met someone else who was trying to get a pssport, Jeff. Jeff has the quintessential Boston accent. I'm talking Will Hunting, almost fake sounding soutie accent. Imagining the accent while you hear it will make it that much better. I'll give you the snippets as we got them. You won't believe this is real by the end, but If you met the guy you'd figure it was. Jeff's flight left in two days to take him back to the states . He'd been in london for a month and lost his passport almost immediately but waited until now so the embassy would rush for him. Then Jeff decided to open up to us. Jeff had met an English girl in Jamaica and was here to visit her. His passport had been revoked months ago by the US government for not paying taxes. He has a twin brother. He takes his twin brothers passport and tries to pass it off as him. But Jeff and his brother are fraternal twins. He, in fact, looks nothing like his brother. So he grew a beard and wore platformed shoes to look taller and tried anyway and insisted his way into the country. He then fedexes all his brother's IDs back to him and his brother does the same, so now he's Jeff again with all of Jeff's identification. While here he spent inordinate amounts of money on hotels and god knows what. His rental car was towed, twice. After being on vacation for almost six months he decides he needs to get back to New York. Jeff goes to the embassy to say he lost his passport. Now we see why Jeff waited so long. By the time the paperwork is straight the damage will be done. Jeff left the embassy with a passport before we did.

6. An evening with Potunky
We spend a fun evening with Dave and Mendy. You've all had fun before so I won't describe it in detail... but I shoulda blogged it!

5. Smith family coming to London (?)
My fam is heading out this way, but passports are a mess in the states I guess since everyone is supposed to get one. If they all had fraternal twins I wouldn't be worried, but they don't so keep you fingers crossed for em.

4. Megan and I finish Felicity
We watched over 36 hours of Felicity Porter and here's what we learned. Felicity graduates with her piers even though there's no way her pre-med classes counted toward her art major. Apartments in New York are measured in acres and any part time coffee house employee or unsuccessful inventor can afford one. Everyone might have their hopes too high for Lost. And we learned about emotions and feelings and reality and product placement and that Wikka and time travel is real. Good game, Felicity, good game.

3. Portsmouth and the Eagles of Death Metal
They came. We saw. They Rocked. Great trip and an amazing concert. It was like... Yeeanozammmarama! I hope for your sakes you don't get that reference. Megan and I started at a good spot, but we were pushed by the crowd ever forward until Megan was against the railing front and center (I was right behind her). Seriously great show.

2. My Black Eye
I got one when a crowd surfer was tossed on to my head, smacking it into the head of the person in front of me at the time (not Megan). I'm glad you can't see pictures because it's a pretty wussy black eye.

1. Megan Leaving for Tokyo
She did! and she'll be back soon.

And in typical Marty style I progress from long to brief as I get tired of writing. You all better comment the crap out of this. Like seriously call each other and tell each other to post.

Blogfully yours,

Marty, check your gmail

2007-03-14T23:54:00.000-05:00

Marty:I thought you were going to blog while I was gone! How has your week been?Check your email for once.
Love
Megan

Everyone else: Hi Im in tokyo. Sadly, this is these five minutes i:ve taken to log on is the first few minutes of downtime i:ve had, so no shrines or temples or shoppng for me. Some Japanese food though, so that:s interesting. There:s a really cool view from the top floor of the hote, which is only where Ive been. I didnt really come to tokyo, rather a hotel in tokyo. More blogging to come when i get back in a few days.
Love
Megan

test

2007-03-10T06:23:00.001-06:00

test

Hey Pretty Ladies!

2007-02-26T16:43:00.000-06:00

Our couches could not be delivered because dfs, the couch company, pulled up to our flat and decided that they did not have enough delivery men to complete the transaction. They drove off with our couches and said they will have to come back later this week. You know, after Marty arranged his schedule so he could be here between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. and cleared the room to make way for our new seating.

That's what we call "English Customer Service," folks.

Anyway, above is Marty hanging out in our couchless living room. It's like a sad, scary picnic!

How Do You Spell Fieval Mousekewitz?

2007-02-25T06:08:00.000-06:00

After working late on Friday Megan and I decided to stay in and chill. We busted out the Felicity and relished the final uncomfortable days of sitting on our old "couch." Our new babies are being delivered on Monday sometime between 8am and 5pm. They are so cute. After we'd had our fill of college melodrama we got nostalgic and turned to youtube to quench our needs. We looked up clips from Aladdin, American Tail, The Muppet Show. I'm pretty sure it started with a challenge to the credibility or accuracy of a claim I made, and soon escalated to a full blown internet fight.

For those that don't know, bickering over matters of fact is as relevant as putting a stamp on something and mailing it. When a claim of fact is asserted by one party and disputed by a second there is no longer a need to start quoting sources and yelling about proofs and disproofs. Instead one party must simply declare, "internet fight!" Both parties head to the nearest computer termanl, Google the argument topic, and the victor declares a smug, "in your face!" Argument over.

Megan and I went out to see "Hot Fuzz" yesterday and had a raucous good time. The movie, while not quite "Shawn of the Dead" quality, did not disappoint. Simon Pegg has not yet done me any wrongs, and I am a pretty judgmental media viewer. We headed home after our dinner-and-a-movie and finished off season three of Felicity. I know what you're thinking, and it is a little sick how much we're watching that show. I don't know if any of you have ever been addicted to anything like heroine or crack but it can't be worse than old trash WB shows. I wake up at night with the jitters and just need to see Ben and Felicity fight one time before I can sleep again. I really need to write out a huge post about Felicity and Lost, my theories for both and how they relate to each other, and maybe mention the sinking fear that Felicity, with it's gaping plot holes and character inconsistencies, gives me about Lost. I promise I'll do it soon, but be warned it will be disturbingly long.

Anyway, we're off to eat some Japanese food to psych us up for Megan's trip, and pick up a few necessities for the apartment. Happy birthday Caleb and Cassie, hopefully your super-party is/was fun.

Architectural Digest

2007-02-19T16:44:00.000-06:00

Marty and I had a pretty wicked awesome weekend. It provided the perfect balance of relaxed sight-seeing and doing nothing.

First we went to the famed antique market called Portobello Market in our effort to scope out good spots to take The In-laws. My in-laws, Marty's family, that is. I just think it's fun to call the Smiths "the in-laws." Anywho, we were only slightly surprised that there were no mushrooms. The picture below is supposed to convey the river of people in the street. It was crowded, but had some interesting wares.

Then we got sick of the crowds and decided to explore the the Notting Hill neighborhood, which is known for being really rich. The spacious sidewalks reminded us of the Chicago.

This is a cool abandoned building I liked.

As you can see, this optician's office sells glasses for the blind, wizards, and weird drag queen comedians.

This church has captivated me on the No. 73 bus to work.* So we trekked back to the tube and went to Euston Station, which is right near the church. The inside was closed, but the outside was fascinating enough. It struck us strange that it is a Christian church (The Church of England, to be exact), but modelled after Pagan Roman temples.

This is Saint Pancras Station, just down the street from the church. It is hard to capture with the camera we've got, but it was built mid-1800s and its got really detailed stonework. Under remodelling right now, though.

Then we met up with friends for good times and good company at their local pub. Then on Sunday, thanks to said friends, we watched Felicity hours and hours... and then we ordered in food and watched more. We're just starting Junior year, now and things are getting preeeettyy darn interesting, lemme tell ya. Felicity just can't make up her mind between Ben and Noel. Crazy. Also, you know J.J. Abrams, the creater of Lost? He did Felicity first, and we have found out that he has just lifted themes, for example the stolen-kidneys-from- abandoned-offspring-thing.

*Oh, yeah. I don't take the Tube anymore. I've opted for getting up 15 minutes earlier to take relaxing bus ride where I can sit and stare at architecture.